Ugh, can you believe this? The Trump administration’s group chat was leaked (because, of course, it was), and now we know that they were discussing war plans on a Signal chat. I mean, who needs security, right? It’s not like they were sharing classified information or anything (oh wait, they were).
And the best part? The White House press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, claims that "no classified material" was sent, which is just laughable. I mean, come on, we all know that’s just not true. But, hey, let’s just take her word for it, shall we?
But, let’s get to the good stuff. Apparently, the chat included Vice President JD Vance, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, director of national intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, and national security adviser Mike Waltz (who added Jeffrey Goldberg’s number to the chat, because why not?). And, of course, they were all discussing top-secret war plans, because that’s exactly what you do on a group chat, right? I mean, who needs secure communication channels when you have Signal?
And, as if that wasn’t enough, the chat also included criticism of European allies, with Vance saying "If you think we should do it let’s go. I just hate bailing Europe out again". Because, you know, that’s exactly what we need – more US-EU drama. And, let’s not forget Hegseth’s response: "VP: I fully share your loathing of European free-loading. It’s PATHETIC". Yeah, because that’s exactly the kind of diplomatic language we need.
But, seriously, this whole thing is just a disaster. I mean, what’s next? Are they going to start sharing nuclear codes on Facebook? And, by the way, can we talk about how insecure Signal is? I mean, it’s not like it’s the most secure messaging app out there or anything (oh wait, it’s not).
And, let’s not forget the Amazon of it all – I mean, have you seen the prices of encrypted messaging apps on Amazon? It’s like they’re profiting off of our insecurity.
But, I digress. The point is, this whole thing is just a mess. And, as Leon Panetta said, it’s "A very serious mistake" that "could violate the espionage laws, but more importantly, could undermine our national security". Yeah, no kidding.
And, as if all this wasn’t enough, there may be legal fallout from the information leak, and the report is sending reverberations around Washington and the world. Because, of course, it is. I mean, what’s a little global chaos when you’re having fun, right?
But, hey, at least Mike Waltz is safe in his job, thanks to President Trump. Because, you know, that’s exactly what we need – more job security for the people who are leaking classified information.
Anyway, I’m just going to go rant about this some more, because, honestly, what else can you do when faced with this level of incompetence? And, by the way, can someone please explain to me why we’re still using Signal? Is it because we love living on the edge or something?
And, as a side note, can we please talk about how Tulsi Gabbard is still a thing? I mean, what’s next? Are we going to elect her president or something?
But, I guess what I’m trying to say is, this whole thing is just a hot mess, and we need to get our act together. Like, seriously, can we please just use secure communication channels for once? Is that too much to ask?
And, finally, let’s just take a moment to appreciate the irony of it all. I mean, the Trump administration is all about security, but they can’t even secure their own group chat. It’s like they’re trying to be ironic or something.
So, to sum it all up, this whole thing is just a disaster, and we need to get our priorities straight. And, by the way, can someone please explain to me why we’re still using Signal? Is it because we love living on the edge or something?
Anyway, I’m done ranting for now. But, seriously, can we please just get our act together? Like, seriously, it’s not that hard.
Oh, and one more thing – can we please investigate this whole thing? Like, seriously, we need to get to the bottom of this insecurity. And, by the way, can someone please explain to me why we’re still using Signal? Is it because we love living on the edge or something?
But, I guess what I’m trying to say is, this whole thing is just a hot mess, and we need to get our act together. Like, seriously, can we please just use secure communication channels for once? Is that too much to ask?
And, as a final note, can we please check out the prices of encrypted messaging apps on Amazon? It’s like they’re profiting off of our insecurity.
But, I’m done now. For real this time.
Oh, wait, one more thing – can we please follow the story and see what happens next? Like, seriously, this whole thing is just too crazy to ignore. And, by the way, can someone please explain to me why we’re still using Signal? Is it because we love living on the edge or something?
But, seriously, I’m done now. For real this time. I promise.