I’m literally losing it over here, folks, as I watch Donald Trump supporters freak out over the new Trump tariffs – it’s like they never saw this trainwreck coming (and by “trainwreck,” I mean the entirety of Trump’s presidency). But, I guess that’s what happens when you blindly follow someone without questioning their policies (read: tweets).
And, seriously, who didn’t see this meltdown coming – I mean, the writing was on the wall, people! The 34% tariffs are, apparently, a threat to their survival (dramatic, much?), and they’re now begging Trump to “please consider us” – as if he’s ever listened to reason before. But, hey, at least they’re finally realizing that Trump’s “America First” slogan was just a marketing gimmick.
But, let’s get real here – these tariffs are not just about economics; they’re about politics, and Trump’s attempt to assert his dominance over the global trade landscape (spoiler alert: it’s not working). And, as a side note, has anyone else noticed how Trump’s tariff tweets always seem to move the markets – it’s like he’s trying to Ivanka’s-style influence the Dow (too soon?).
And, speaking of Ivanka, has anyone seen her latest book on “How to Make a Deal (Without Actually Knowing Anything About Economics)” – I mean, it’s a bestseller, right? But, I digress – back to the tariffs: it’s not like Trump hasn’t warned us about these tariffs before; it’s just that his supporters chose to ignore the warnings (or cognitive dissonance, anyone?).
But, what’s really rich is that these tariffs are, supposedly, meant to protect American jobs – yeah, because that’s exactly what the data says (note: it doesn’t). And, while we’re at it, can someone explain to me how these tariffs are going to magically bring back American manufacturing jobs that have been lost to automation? I mean, it’s not like robotics and AI are the real job-killers here (just kidding, that’s exactly what’s happening).
And, on a completely unrelated note, has anyone tried that new Amazon coffee – it’s life-changing (or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself as I mainline caffeine to get through these tariff-induced nightmares). But, I guess that’s what happens when you’re trying to survive in a world where trade policy is dictated by Trump’s tweets – it’s like trying to navigate a minefield while blindfolded.