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Trump Shocked to Learn There Are Places Outside of Mar-a-Lago, Including Lithuania, Where Soldiers Might Be Missing - Uncede | My Take on the News

Trump Shocked to Learn There Are Places Outside of Mar-a-Lago, Including Lithuania, Where Soldiers Might Be Missing

4 Min Read

I’m still trying to wrap my head around this one, folks – Donald Trump was caught off guard when asked about U.S. soldiers missing in Lithuania, and I’m not even surprised at this point, (because, let’s be real, when is he ever prepared?). And can we talk about how ridiculous it is that our president seems to be constantly clueless about, well, everything?

But, I mean, come on, Lithuania – it’s not like it’s a tiny country in Europe or anything (oh wait, it totally is), and maybe, just maybe, our president should be aware of the fact that we have soldiers missing there – I’m no expert, but that seems like something you’d want to keep track of, you know? And don’t even get me started on the whole “caught off guard” thing, because, let’s be real, it’s not like he’s ever actually prepared for anything.

And then I start thinking, what if this is all just some massive conspiracy to, I don’t know, distract us from the fact that our president is, in fact, a real-life superhero (just kidding, or am I?), and the missing soldiers are just, uh, secret agents on a top-secret mission (because, you know, that’s exactly how international diplomacy works). But, in all seriousness, folks, this is some serious stuff, and we need to be paying attention, because, as we all know, politics can be, like, super confusing sometimes.

But, hey, at least we can all agree that Twitter is, like, the best way for our president to, you know, communicate with the American people (said no one ever), and maybe, just maybe, he should stick to tweeting about, I don’t know, golf or something, because, let’s be real, that’s about the only thing he seems to be remotely qualified to talk about. And, can I just ask, what’s the deal with all these missing soldiers anyway – are they, like, hiding out in some secret underground bunker or something (because, you know, that’s exactly how the military works)?

And, on a completely unrelated note, has anyone tried those new Keurig coffee machines? Because, let me tell you, they’re life-changing (or, at the very least, caffeine-changing), and maybe, just maybe, our president should, you know, invest in one, because, clearly, he needs a serious caffeine boost to, you know, stay awake during those long meetings with world leaders. But, I digress – back to the missing soldiers, because, let’s be real, that’s what this is all about, right?

And, seriously, can someone please explain to me why our president seems to be so oblivious to, like, everything that’s going on in the world – is it, like, a medical condition or something (because, you know, that would totally explain a lot), or is he just, you know, really bad at this whole president thing? But, hey, at least he’s consistent, right – consistently clueless, consistently unprepared, and consistently, well, entertaining (in a train-wreck kind of way), and maybe, just maybe, we should all just, you know, sit back and enjoy the ride, because, let’s be real, it’s not like things are going to get any better anytime soon.

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