I’m just going to lose it if I have to read one more article about Donald Trump and his latest antics – this time, his plan to pave over the Rose Garden at the White House, because, you know, what’s a little historic garden when you’ve got a ego the size of a small planet? (Can someone please explain to me why we’re still talking about this guy?)
And let’s be real, who needs a beautiful garden when you can have a hard surface patio, perfect for hosting lavish parties and tweeting about how great you are? I mean, it’s not like the Rose Garden has been around since 1913 or anything (thanks to Ellen Wilson, the wife of former President Woodrow Wilson), or that it’s been used for countless outdoor ceremonies and events over the years – it’s just a useless piece of grass, am I right?
But, I guess, if you’re going todestroy a national treasure, you might as well go big or go home – and what’s bigger than installing hardwood floors for dancing? I mean, who wouldn’t want to dance the night away on the hallowed grounds of the White House, surrounded by the ghosts of presidents past? (Does anyone else think this is just a ploy to get his Mar-a-Lago friends to come visit more often?)
And, of course, because one ridiculous idea isn’t enough, Trump is also reportedly considering building a ballroom, because, why not? I mean, it’s not like the White House is a museum or a historic landmark or anything – it’s just a fancy hotel with a really great location, right? (By the way, has anyone else noticed that Trump’s interior design aesthetic is just a mix of gold everything and "I’m a rich guy, hear me roar"? – check out the gold decor on Amazon, it’s like he raided the entire website).
Now, I know what you’re thinking – what about the petition to reverse the changes made by Melania Trump during her husband’s first term? (Remember when she redesigned the Rose Garden and everyone lost their minds?) Well, let’s just say that Trump is not one to listen to the people – unless, of course, they’re chanting his name and waving tiny flags, then he’s all ears.
According to The New York Times, the Rose Garden renovations are a daily topic of conversation (because, priorities), and Trump is dead set on recreating the patio experience at Mar-a-Lago – because, why have a unique and historic garden when you can just copy-paste someone else’s design? And, as White House Communications Director Steven Cheung said, the White House needs some "tender, loving care" – code for "we’re going to pave over the Rose Garden and make it look like a bad 80s time capsule".
So, what’s next? Will Trump finally succeed in paving over the Rose Garden and turning it into a giant patio-party zone? Only time (and a healthy dose of outrage from the American people) will tell – but one thing’s for sure, I’ll be over here, sipping my coffee and wondering what other absurd, egregious, and just plain silly things Trump will come up with next (check out the coffee on Amazon, I’m going to need a lot of it to get through this administration).
And, as a final note, if you have any questions about this story (or just want to vent about how ridiculous it all is), you can contact LiveNews@newsweek.com – but let’s be real, what’s the point, really? (Just go ahead and get your protest signs ready, we’re going to need them).
But, in all seriousness, this is just another example of how Trump is willfully disregarding the history and significance of the White House, and it’s just so frustrating (can someone please just give the man a history book already?) – and, as we all know, the Oval Office renovations are just the beginning.
And, finally, let’s talk about the real issue here – the fact that Trump is trying to turn the White House into his own personal playground (complete with a ballroom and hardwood floors), and it’s just not okay (can we please just buy him a playground and be done with it?).
But, I guess that’s just the world we live in now – where the President of the United States can just pave over a historic garden and turn it into a giant patio, and we’re all just supposed to be okay with it (spoiler alert: we’re not okay with it).
And, as a parting gift, let’s just take a look at the Donald Trump Wikipedia page – it’s like a never-ending list of controversies and scandals, and it’s just exhausting (can someone please just give the man a stress ball already?).
So, that’s it for today, folks – just another day in the life of Donald Trump, where the absurd and the ridiculous are just par for the course (check out the golf balls on Amazon, I’m sure he’s got a few dozen lying around).
And, as a final, final note, if you’re feeling as frustrated and overwhelmed as I am, just take a deep breath, grab a cup of coffee, and remember – we’re all in this together (except for Trump, of course – he’s just in it for himself).