Can you believe this guy? Trump is at it again, folks, and I’m not even surprised anymore – Department of Justice is his playground now. He’s going around, cleaning house, and getting rid of all those pesky Biden-era US attorneys, because, you know, they might actually know what they’re doing (note to self: check if that’s actually a requirement for the job). And let’s be real, who needs experience and competence when you can just hire your buddies and cronies instead?
But what’s really going on here? Is Trump trying to cover up his own tracks, or is he just trying to distract us from the fact that he still hasn’t figured out how to be a decent president? I mean, come on, the man can’t even get his facts straight most of the time, and yet he’s trying to run the country? It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion – you know it’s going to end badly, but you can’t look away.
And don’t even get me started on the whole “instructing the DOJ” thing – who does he think he is, some kind of mafia boss? Newsflash, Trump: you’re not The Godfather, and the DOJ is not your personal army (although, at this point, it’s hard to tell). By the way, has anyone seen my popcorn maker? I think I left it in the living room, next to my stress ball.
But I digress – back to the topic at hand: Trump’s vendetta against the Biden-era US attorneys. I mean, what’s the logic behind this move? Is he trying to rewrite history or something? Because, let’s be real, the only thing he’s going to achieve is making a mess and obstructing justice (again). And can someone please explain to me why we’re still talking about this guy? Shouldn’t we be focusing on, I don’t know, space exploration or something?
And what about the DOJ’s website, which says that US attorneys are supposed to be “responsible for enforcing federal laws”? I guess that’s just a suggestion now, because Trump seems to think he’s above the law (shocker). But seriously, folks, this is getting ridiculous – who’s going to hold him accountable for all these shenanigans? The Congress? Ha! They’re too busy partisan politicking to care about actual governance.
But wait, it gets better – Trump’s also trying to defund the DOJ (because, you know, they might actually investigate him if they have any money). I mean, what’s next? Is he going to try to shutdown the government again? Oh wait, he’s already done that – check. And by the way, has anyone seen my coffee maker? I think I need a refill to get through this article.
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, Trump’s latest antics – so, apparently, he thinks he can just fire people willy-nilly, without any consequences. I mean, what’s the deal with that? Does he think he’s some kind of reality TV star, where he can just Apprentice-style fire people and get away with it? But, fun fact: Richard Nixon tried that too, and we all know how that ended – spoiler alert: it didn’t end well.
And let’s not forget the FBI, which is basically just a piñata for Trump to beat up on whenever he feels like it. I mean, what’s the point of even having a functioning FBI when you’ve got Trump tweeting his way through life? But, on a lighter note, did you know that you can buy FBI t-shirts on Amazon? Because, priorities.
But I guess what really gets my goat is that Trump’s not even trying to hide his agenda anymore – he’s just out in the open, doing his thing, and daring anyone to stop him. It’s like he’s playing some kind of Game of Thrones power struggle, except instead of swords and dragons, it’s all about Twitter followers and Fox News ratings. And can someone please explain to me why we’re still giving this guy airtime? Shouldn’t we be focusing on, I don’t know, world peace or something?