Warning: what you’re about to read is a totally biased, utterly absurd, and completely factual (okay, maybe not that last one) rant about the latest executive order from President Donald Trump. And, honestly, who needs facts when you have opinions, right? But, for the sake of argument, let’s look at what’s actually happening here. The President has signed an executive order that’s supposed to “preserve and protect the integrity of American elections.” Sounds good, right? I mean, who doesn’t want fair and honest elections?
Except, of course, this order is actually a power grab by the executive branch, attempting to wrest control from the states, which are primarily responsible for regulating and administering elections for federal office. And, because why not, it also punishes states that don’t comply. But, you know, in the name of democracy and all that jazz. I’m no expert, but isn’t that kind of like what authoritarian regimes do? Just a thought.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “What about voter registration?” Well, let me tell you, Marc Elias, a Democratic election lawyer, is already planning to sue over this order. And, honestly, can you blame him? I mean, who needs easy voter registration when you can have voter suppression tactics instead? But, hey, at least the myth of noncitizen voting is still alive and well, right?
And, while we’re on the topic of election fraud, let’s talk about the Trump administration’s claims that this order is necessary to prevent it. Because, you know, election fraud books are all the rage these days. But, seriously, if you want to learn about election fraud, you should probably check out some non-partisan sources instead of relying on, you know, YouTube videos from the President.
Anyway, back to the order: it also directs the U.S. Election Assistance Commission (EAC) to require documentary proof of citizenship when registering to vote. Because, you know, passport holders are the only ones who should be allowed to vote. And, of course, this will totally not prevent eligible Americans from exercising their right to vote.
But wait, there’s more! The order also charges Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) and the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) with reviewing state voter registration lists using federal databases. Because, you know, voter registration software is so last season. And, hey, who needs vote by mail when you can have electronic voting machines instead?
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “But what about the Social Security commissioner?” Well, let me tell you, they’re also involved in this mess, required to share federal databases with state and local election officials to verify the eligibility of registered voters. Because, you know, social security numbers are the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe. And, hey, while we’re at it, let’s talk about using technology to strengthen democracy, because that’s clearly what’s happening here.
In conclusion, this executive order is a total disaster. It’s a power grab, a voter suppression tactic, and a attack on democracy all rolled into one. But, hey, at least we can all agree that Democracy Docket is doing some great work in covering this story. So, go ahead and donate to Democracy Docket if you want to support their efforts. And, while you’re at it, go ahead and check out the Brookings Institution for some actual facts and analysis on election fraud and voter suppression. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Oh, and one more thing: if you’re interested in learning more about election law, you should probably check out some election law books for beginners. Because, you know, knowledge is power, and all that jazz. But, hey, don’t just take my word for it – go ahead and watch some documentaries on the subject instead. Just don’t expect me to watch them with you, because, you know, I have better things to do. Like watching cat videos. Priorities, people!