I’m literally shaking with excitement as I write this, because, you know, the future of the U.S. Air Force is at stake, and Donald Trump is at the helm – what could possibly go wrong, right? So, apparently, he’s announced plans for the next big thing in fighter jets, the Next Generation Air Dominance fighter jet, and I’m like, “Wow, that sounds super cool and not at all like a bunch of fancy words strung together to sound impressive.”
And, as if that’s not enough, he’s decided to call it the F-47, because, you know, he’s the 47th U.S. president, and who needs originality when you can just name something after yourself? But, I mean, can you blame him? It’s not like he has a history of being subtle or anything. I’m just waiting for him to announce that he’s going to build a wall around the air force base and make the enemy pay for it.
But, in all seriousness, the contract to build this fancy new jet has been awarded to Boeing, because, of course, it’s not like they’ve had any scandals recently. And, according to Trump, this new jet is going to be “the most advanced, most capable, most lethal aircraft ever built” – which, if true, would be really cool, but let’s be real, we’ve heard that before, and it usually ends with a bunch of expensive equipment failures.
Anyway, the design of this new jet is being kept secret for security reasons, because, you know, we wouldn’t want the enemy to know that we’re building a giant metal bird that can fly really fast and shoot things. But, apparently, an experimental design has been “secretly flying for almost five years,” which, if true, would be kind of cool, but also a bit disturbing – like, what else have they been secretly building and testing without telling us? And, by the way, have you seen the price tag on this thing? Over $20 billion, which, if you ask me, is a bit steep – I mean, I could buy a lot of drones for that price.
And, of course, Pete Hegseth, the defense secretary, is all like, “This new jet will reassure our allies and show our enemies that we mean business,” which, if you ask me, sounds like a bunch of military jargon. But, hey, who knows, maybe it’ll actually work, and we’ll be able to project power around the globe without breaking the bank or causing any conflicts.
But, let’s get real, the real question on everyone’s mind is – will this new jet be able to replace the F-22 Raptor, which, if you ask me, is a pretty tough act to follow? I mean, that thing is like the Lamborghini of fighter jets – fast, sleek, and totally high-tech. And, according to the Air Force chief of staff, Gen. David Allvin, the F-47 will be more cost-effective and adaptable than the F-22, which, if true, would be great, but I’m not holding my breath.
And, finally, I just have to say – can we please just take a moment to appreciate the fact that Boeing and Lockheed Martin were competing for this contract, and Boeing won? I mean, it’s not like they’ve had any history of competition before, right? But, hey, a win’s a win, and I’m sure Boeing is just thrilled to have landed this contract – I mean, who wouldn’t want to build a bunch of fighter jets for the U.S. Air Force?
And, as I finish writing this, I just can’t help but wonder – what’s next for the U.S. Air Force? Will they start building space planes? Or maybe they’ll just stick to what they’re good at – building really expensive, really cool military equipment. Only time will tell, but one thing’s for sure – with Trump at the helm, it’s going to be an interesting ride.