Breaking News: Senator Adam Schiff is on the warpath, and this time, he’s gunning for President Donald Trump‘s administration over allegations of insider trading. Because, you know, what’s a little collusion between friends, right? (Or should I say, what’s a little tariff manipulation between “stable geniuses”?)
And can we talk about these tariffs for a second? I mean, Trump is like a kid in a candy store, except instead of candy, it’s tariffs, and instead of a store, it’s the global economy. He’s just throwing them around like they’re going out of style. But, hey, who needs free trade when you can have protectionism, am I right? (Just kidding, I’m totally not right.)
But, I digress. So, Schiff is all like, “Hey, Democrats in Congress are going to investigate these allegations,” and I’m over here like, “Finally, someone’s doing something about it!” I mean, it’s not like Trump has a history of, you know, lying or cheating or anything. (Oh wait, he totally does.)
And then there’s the stock market, which is just a total mess. I mean, it’s like a rollercoaster in there, except instead of fun, it’s your retirement savings that are at stake. But, hey, at least Elon Musk is making bank, right? (I mean, who needs accountability when you can have Twitter?)
By the way, have you seen Trump’s books on Amazon? I mean, they’re like the bible of bad decision-making. (Just kidding, I wouldn’t waste my money on those.)
But, I guess what I’m trying to say is that this whole situation is a
And, Schiff is all, “We need to get to the bottom of this,” and I’m like, “Yeah, no kidding.” I mean, it’s not like Trump has a history of obstructing justice or anything. (Oh wait, he totally does.)
But, in all seriousness, this is a big deal. I mean, insider trading is a serious crime, and if Trump or his cronies are involved, there needs to be accountability. So, let’s all just take a deep breath and hope that Schiff and the Democrats can get to the bottom of this mess.
By the way, have you seen politics books on Amazon? I mean, they’re like the bible of political knowledge. (Just kidding, I wouldn’t waste my money on those either.)
And, finally, let’s all just take a moment to appreciate the hypocrisy of it all. I mean, Trump is always talking about draining the swamp, but really, he’s just adding to the mess. (But, hey, who’s counting?)
Well, that’s all for now, folks. Stay… just kidding, I’m not going to say that. Let’s just say that this is a developing story, and we’ll all just have to wait and see what happens next. But, one thing’s for sure, it’s going to be a wild ride.
You can check Adam Schiff’s statements on his official website, and also Donald Trump’s tweets on Twitter.
Also, you can find more information about insider trading on the SEC website.
I hope you enjoyed this article, and don’t forget to check out politics books on Amazon.