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Tim Walz Announces Plan to Run for President in 2028, or at Least Make it to the Early Bird Special at Denny's by Then - Uncede | My Take on the News

Tim Walz Announces Plan to Run for President in 2028, or at Least Make it to the Early Bird Special at Denny’s by Then

3 Min Read

I’m just going to say it: Tim Walz is a glutton for punishment. The man lost his home county to Trump, and yet he’s still considering running for president in 2028. Because, you know, that worked out so well last time. I mean, who needs to win their home state when you can lose it to the opposing party? (By the way, have you tried searching for losing strategies on Amazon? I hear it’s a bestseller).

But, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of this whole debacle. Walz told “The New Yorker Radio Hour” that he’d “certainly consider” running for president in 2028. Because, why not? It’s not like he has anything better to do, like, say, governing his state effectively. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s what governors are supposed to do. Anyway, if you’re interested in learning more about Tim Walz’s regrets, be my guest.

And, by the way, what’s up with Walz saying he’d “rather eat glass” than return to the Capitol? Is that a thing now? Like, a new form of self-punishment? “Oh, you lost your election? Well, just eat some glass and call it a day.” I’m no psychologist, but that sounds like a weird coping mechanism to me. Anyway, if you’re interested in learning more about coping mechanisms on Amazon, I hear they have some great books on the subject.

But, I digress. Walz also said that the Democratic defeat in 2024 is “one I’ll take with me to the grave.” Oh, poor baby. You lost an election, and now you’re going to carry it to your grave? That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think? I mean, there are worse things in life than losing an election. Like, have you seen the worst disasters in history on Amazon? Now those are some real tragedies.

And, finally, let’s talk about Walz’s decision not to seek Tina Smith’s seat. Because, you know, he’s just too good for the Capitol. I mean, who needs to serve in the Senate when you can be a governor and lose your home county to Trump? It’s all about priorities, people. Anyway, if you’re interested in learning more about the US Senate on Amazon, I hear they have some great books on the subject.

In conclusion, Tim Walz is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, dipped in a vat of confusing decisions. Will he run for president in 2028? Only time will tell. But, one thing’s for sure: it’s going to be a wild ride. Buckle up, folks! (Just kidding, I’m not going to say “folks.” That’s so cliché).

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