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Trump Tariffs Based on Sane and Well-Reasoned Decision, Just Kidding, It Was a Coin Flip
Brookings Institution - because who needs facts, anyway? - has apparently decided to rain on Trump's tariff parade, claiming they're based on a massive error, and honestly, it's about time someone pointed out the obvious. But, I mean, what's the point, right? It's not like it's going to change anything, given the current state of affairs. And can we please, for the love of all things sane, take a step back and assess the situation?…
Small-Dollar Donors Demand Refund from John Fetterman, Citing ‘Undelivered Promises’ and ‘Unmet Expectations of Free Bratwurst’
Let's talk about the absurdity that is Senator John Fetterman's campaign, shall we? I mean, who needs integrity when you can just flip-flop on your values and watch your donors scramble for a refund? It's like a bad joke, but it's not funny. Almost 100 people have requested their money back from Fetterman's campaign, and I'm not surprised. I'd want my money back too if I'd donated to someone who's apparently lost their moral compass.…
Warning: Trump’s Budget Bill May Cause Spontaneous Combustion of Social Security Checks, Bernie Sanders Brings Fire Extinguisher to Congress
Seriously, what is going on here? Senator Bernie Sanders is sounding the alarm over a Republican budget bill, and I'm over here wondering if anyone actually cares about the people anymore. I mean, Social Security benefits are literally the only thing keeping some people afloat, and these politicians are just playing games with it. And let's be real, Donald Trump has been saying all the right things about not cutting Social Security, but Elon Musk…
Villages in Florida Hosts Massive ‘Hands Off!’ Rally, Immediately Grabs Nearby Early Bird Special
Okay, let's get this straight - nearly 2,000 residents of The Villages in Florida, a notorious Republican stronghold, decided to join the "Hands Off!" protest against President Donald Trump and his trusty sidekick, billionaire Elon Musk. I mean, who wouldn't want to protest against these two - it's not like they're the most beloved figures in American politics or anything (sarcasm alert!). But, seriously, the protesters are upset about the potential cuts to Social Security,…
Trump Administration Orders Trees to Stop Being So Tree-like, Demands They Become Pencils Immediately
Because, you know, what's a few trees when you can have a bunch of logs, right? I mean, who needs trees anyway? They're just taking up space, providing oxygen, and supporting entire ecosystems... no big deal. The Trump administration, in all its wisdom, has decided to open up more than half of our national forests to logging, because, you know, profits over people (and the environment, and wildlife...). And let's be real, this "emergency order"…
McConnell Slams Trump for Hiring ‘Couch Warriors’ at Pentagon, Firing Guy Who Actually Knew What He Was Doing
I'm just so done with these politicians and their never-ending drama, and can someone please explain to me why Mitch McConnell is suddenly the voice of reason here, like this article on Politico, I mean what's next, is he going to start making sense on every issue? And let's be real, Trump's hiring practices are a joke, I mean who needs experience or expertise when you can just hire your buddies and hope for the…
Al Green Threatens to Impeach Trump, Finally Giving Him the Attention He’s Been Desperately Seeking for Years
I'm just so done with this whole impeachment saga, but I guess it's time to dive back in - Al Green says he’ll present articles of impeachment against Trump in the next 30 days, because, you know, that's exactly what we need, more of the same old song and dance. And can we please just take a moment to appreciate the fact that this is not the first time we've been down this road? (I…
Trump and Musk Told to Keep Their Grubby Paws to Themselves in Global ‘Hands Off Our Sanity’ Protests
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the sheer scale of these protests against Donald Trump and Elon Musk - we're talking hundreds of thousands of people, in all 50 states, and even worldwide - can you believe it? It's like the entire world has finally had enough of these two... and who can blame them, right? I mean, have you seen the cuts to federal agencies, the attacks on Social Security, and the…
Trump’s Approval Rating Finally Finds Its Natural Habitat: The Toilet
Let's dive into this so-called "news" article, shall we? President Donald Trump's approval rating has finally turned negative, and I'm just shocked - shocked! - that it took this long. I mean, who wouldn't want to approve of a president who's been, shall we say, a tad controversial? But, And, I suppose it's worth noting that this shift in Trump's numbers could actually influence support from Republican lawmakers, which could, in turn, affect his ability…
Nation Horrified as Hundreds of People Actually Leave Their Couches to Protest Trump
I'm just so done with all this, and I mean, who isn't, right? The sheer audacity of the Trump administration is just mind-boggling. So, on Saturday, people from all 50 states (because, of course, we need to make America grateful again) gathered to protest the president's laughable agenda. And, let's be real, the president was probably too busy playing golf in Florida to even notice (or care, for that matter). But, honestly, who can blame…