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RFK Jr. Declares War on Antidepressants, Because Clearly the Real Enemy Wasn’t the Vaccines This Whole Time
Seriously, what is going on here? Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has just been confirmed as the Secretary of the US Department of Health and Human Services, and he's already making quite the splash - for all the wrong reasons, of course. And let's be real, who needs science when you've got opinions, right? (Actually, evidence-based research is kind of a big deal in the medical field, but who's counting?) But I guess that's what happens…
Trump Accidentally Fires, Then Refires, People in Charge of Not Blowing Us All Up, Crisis Averted (Again)
I mean, come on, can you believe this, the Trump administration officials are like a bunch of highly caffeinated amateurs trying to run a nuclear reactor with a nuclear stockpile without knowing what they're doing, it's like they're playing with fire (not literally, or are they?). But let's get to the point, the National Nuclear Security Administration is a big deal, I mean, it's not like running a lemonade stand, it's about overseeing the U.S.…
Trump-Musk Scandal at USAID Takes Hilariously Bonkers Turn With Leaked Memo Written in Crayon and Signed with a Fart Emoji
Because what we really need is more bureaucratic red tape, it seems like the Trump administration has decided to really put the screws to USAID, an organization that's supposed to be helping people in need, not playing politics (or check out this Amazon search for some interesting perspectives). And, of course, because this is the Trump administration we're talking about, they've managed to completely botch the funding process, leaving USAID employees and partner groups struggling…
This Is a SNL Skit, But Unfortunately, the Checks Are Real and So Are the Consequences
And let's get this trainwreck of a story started - I mean, who needs a boring, factual news article when you can have a satirical masterpiece like this? But, I digress. So, apparently, Elon Musk's 4-year-old son, X Æ A-Xii (what a mouthful, right?), decided to crash the party at a White House press conference, because, why not? I mean, who needs protocol and dignity when you have a toddler running around, picking his nose…
Elon Musk Accidentally Tweets Top Secret Recipes for World Domination, Includes DOGE-Themed Cupcakes and SpaceX-Branded Mind Control Devices
And what a lovely day it is to be talking about the utter chaos that is the US justice system, am I right? Because who needs stability and competence when you can have backroom deals and good old-fashioned coercion, right? But seriously, folks, this is like a bad soap opera - you've got your resignations and your more resignations, all because someone (cough, Trump, cough) wants to get their way. And let's get to the…
Trump Admin Accidentally Fires Nuclear Staff, Suddenly Realizes Why Everyone Was So Polite to Them at Meetings
And what's going on here, folks? The Trump administration, in all its infinite wisdom, decided to fire over 300 staffers at the National Nuclear Security Administration (NNSA) - the agency responsible for managing the nation's nuclear stockpile. I mean, who needs people overseeing the nuclear weapons that could potentially destroy humanity, right? But, of course, they didn't really know what the NNSA did (because, you know, it's not like it's a critical agency or anything).…
Maybe He Can Learn to Use a Map, Starting with the One that Leads to His Own Brain
I am just so done with Tom Homan, apparently the border czar, and his ridiculous comments about Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's "Know Your Rights with ICE" webinar. And can we talk about how he's working with the Department of Justice to determine if the webinar impeded the Trump administration's immigration enforcement efforts? Give me a break. But what really gets my goat is that Homan thinks Ocasio-Cortez could be "in trouble" for hosting the webinar, which…
Trump Tries to Nuke His Staff, Then Remembers He Needs Someone to Tweet for Him
And so, it begins - the great layoff spree of the Trump administration, because who needs that many employees at the Department of Energy, right? I mean, it's not like we're talking about nuclear security or anything (oh wait, we are). But hey, let's cut those "non-essential" workers loose, because who needs experience and expertise when you have... well, I'm not quite sure what you have, but I'm sure it'll be fine. But seriously, the…
Judge John McConnell Jr Faces Impeachment for Not Worshiping Trump Enough, Apparently Not Bowing Down Low Enough
And here we go again, folks, with another episode of "As the Trump Administration Turns" - but wait, it's not just a soap opera, it's real life! I mean, who needs fiction when you have Donald Trump and his cohorts, right? (I'm not being paid to say that, by the way... or am I?) Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, so U.S. District Judge John McConnell Jr. basically told the White House to stop ignoring…
AOC Demands Eric Adams Be Replaced with a Slightly More Charismatic Muppet
And let's get this straight - Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) is calling for New York City Mayor Eric Adams to be removed from his position. But, you know, no big deal, just your average everyday corruption scandal. Apparently, Adams' legal team tried to make a quid pro quo deal with Trump administration officials, which is just a fancy way of saying they tried to bribe them (or, you know, "exchange favors" - same difference, right?).…