Popular Post
Trump Declares Himself King, Supreme Court Ruling Reveals He’s Been Right About Everything (Including His Hair)
Because, you know, being a president isn't powerful enough already, Trump just had to go and use this Supreme Court immunity ruling to claim he has "unrestricted power" - and I'm just over here thinking, what's next, a request for world domination?. And can we talk about how this whole thing is just a giant power struggle (no pun intended)? But let's dive into the nitty-gritty of this ruling, shall we? Apparently, the Supreme Court…
Trump Replaces Entire Air Traffic Control Team with Twitter Followers Who Yelled “I Could Do That!”
I'm just going to lose it, because Reuters has reported that the Department of Justice (DOJ) has been going through a massive shake-up, with a bunch of top officials resigning, and I'm like, what is going on here? And let me tell you, it all started when the acting U.S. attorney, Danielle Sassoon, resigned rather than drop the charges against Eric Adams, because, apparently, she had some sort of moral compass, and wasn't about to…
Billionaire Space Cowboy Outraged to Discover Someone Else is Riding the Government Gravy Train Faster Than Him
I just can't even right now, the sheer audacity of Elon Musk is just mind-boggling, I mean who does this guy think he is, anyway? And what's with all the hypocrisy, can't he just make up his mind for once? But I guess that's just the kind of thing that happens when you're a billionaire with an ego the size of a small planet. I mean, seriously, this guy's life story is like a never-ending…
Thousands Protest on Presidents’ Day, Demanding Trump Be Crowned King, Given Infinite Netflix and Taco Supply
And so it begins, the never-ending saga of protests against President Trump's, ahem, "interesting" decisions. I mean, who needs a functioning government when you can just fire people willy-nilly and appease Russia on Ukraine? (Sarcasm alert!) But seriously, thousands of protesters took to the streets across the United States on Monday to express their disdain for Trump's antics, calling him a "king" on Presidents' Day - which, might I add, is rich coming from a…
Trump Informs Supreme Court He’s Been Granted Divine Right to Fire His Barber, Chef, and Anyone Who Runs Out of His Favorite Hair Gel
Can you believe it, President Donald Trump is at it again, remindin' the Supreme Court that he's basically above the law, with almost absolute immunity and the "unrestricted power" to fire whoever he wants, whenever he wants. But, let's get real, this is not just about Trump, it's about the Separation of Powers and the role of the Congress in checking the President's powers. I mean, what's the point of having a system of checks…
Elon Musk Demands CBS Replace ’60 Minutes’ with ’60 Seconds of Me Talking About My Feelings’
And so, it begins - the epic battle of wits between Elon Musk and "60 Minutes." I mean, who doesn't love a good showdown between a billionaire with a bad haircut and a news program that's been around longer than he's been alive? But, let's get serious for a second (just a second, I promise). Apparently, Musk is calling for the "60 Minutes" team to receive a "long prison sentence" for their supposed interference in…
Elon Musk Threatens to Imprison Entire News Agency, Demands They Use SpaceX Wi-Fi and Like All His Tweets | President Elon Musk Declares Journalism a Form of Alien Invasion
Are we seriously living in a world where Elon Musk thinks he can just threaten to imprison an entire news agency? And what's next, is he going to try to launch them into space or something (because, you know, that's exactly what we need, a space prison). But let's get real here, folks, this is the same guy who thinks he can save humanity with his spaceX endeavors, and yet he can't even handle a…
Project 2025: Because We Clearly Haven’t Ruined Enough Things Yet, Only a Third of the Way to Total Chaos
Let's talk about the utterly absurd and completely not-made-up **transformer crisis** (I know, I know, it sounds like a bad sci-fi movie) - but bear with me, because this is actually a real thing. So, apparently, these magical devices called **transformers** are crucial for our power grid, and the US is ridiculously dependent on imports for a specific type of steel, called **grain oriented electrical steel (GOES)**, which is essential for making transformers. And, of…
Judge Rules Donald Trump’s Hairdo ‘Unconstitutional’ and Orders Immediate Comb-Over Reform
Breaking News: a Washington state judge has finally put a stop to President Donald Trump's ridiculous executive order on transgender care - and I am so here for it! I mean, who does this guy think he is, trying to dictate what medical care people can and can't get? It's like he thinks he's some kind of medical expert or something (spoiler alert: he's not). And let's be real, this executive order was always a…
Trump to Fire Hundreds from FAA, Because Clearly the Problem Wasn’t Him Watching
I'm just so excited to talk about the latest cuts in the Federal Aviation Administration budget - said no one ever. But seriously, have you heard about the recent air disasters? It's like, what's going on here? Are we trying to make flying more exciting or something? And by exciting, I mean terrifying. I mean, think about it, the FAA is basically the National Transportation Safety Board on steroids. They're supposed to be the ones…