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Politics - Uncede | My Take on the News

Politics

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Fetterman’s Office Now Just a Guy Named Dave and a sleepy Intern Named Karen

Politics, the gift that keeps on giving - and by giving, I mean taking away all our sanity and leaving us wondering what just hit us (But, hey, at least we can all agree on one thing: it's a wild ride). And, trust me, the latest news about Sen. John Fetterman is no exception to this rule (I mean, who needs stability in politics, right?). So, it seems two of his longest-serving staff members, Charlie…

By uncede
4 Min Read

Dolly Parton Tells Indiana Gov to ‘Jolene’ Down and Stop Trashing Her Library

I mean, seriously, can you believe it? Dolly Parton, the country music legend, has been running the "Imagination Library" for nearly 30 years, and I'm just now finding out about it? (what rock have I been living under?). But, supposedly, this library is all about encouraging early literacy, which, don't get me wrong, is a fantastic cause, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Dolly Parton, of all people, is…

By uncede
6 Min Read

Trump Unveils Brilliant Plan to Save Healthcare: Just Pretend Poor People Don’t Exist

Bolsonaro is having a bad week, and honestly, who isn't, right? I mean, have you seen the price of coffee beans lately? But back to Bolsonaro, the former president of Brazil, who's now facing charges of attempting a coup after losing the 2022 election - yeah, because that's not suspicious at all. And let's not forget his case is being overseen by de Moraes, who's also handling multiple other criminal investigations into the former president…

By uncede
4 Min Read

MAGA Fanatics Hail ‘King’ Trump as He Finally Ditches That Whole ‘Pretending to Care About Democracy’ Charade

I'm just going to say it: the president has officially lost his mind, and I'm not surprised, are you? But, the White House seems to think it's perfectly fine for him to dub himself "the king" after killing a controversial New York City program. And, let's be real, who needs a monarch when you have a president with a bad case of delusions of grandeur? But, I mean, what's next? Is he going to start…

By uncede
8 Min Read

Feds Investigate Local ICE Prosecutor for Shocking Crime: Being Exactly What You’d Expect

And so it begins, the saga of James "Jim" Joseph Rodden, a 44-year-old assistant chief counsel for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) in the Dallas area, who allegedly operates a social media account called GlomarResponder, spewing forth hateful, xenophobic, and pro-fascist content - because, you know, that's exactly what you want in someone representing the government in immigration court, right? But wait, it gets better! Rodden's ICE employment is confirmed by federal court records, background…

By uncede
6 Min Read

Trump’s Death Penalty Order Sends Luigi Mangione’s Beard into Mourning, Forces Him to Donate His Entire Collection of Velvet Elvis Paintings

Luigi Mangione, the infamous accused killer of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, has a legal defense fund that's making waves - and I am so here for the drama! But, and this is a big but, one of the top donors to this fund is citing President Donald Trump's executive order on the death penalty as their reason for giving - because, you know, death penalty isn't already a super contentious issue. And let's get real,…

By uncede
5 Min Read

DOGE’s Paws-itively Ridiculous $8 Billion Dollar Whoopsie: Because Who Needs That Kind of Money Anyway?

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this absolute trainwreck of a situation - and I've got to ask, what is Dogecoin even doing with $8 billion in the first place? And can someone please explain to me why they'd make such a colossal mistake? But let's get into the nitty-gritty of this mess - according to CoinMarketCap, Dogecoin has been on a wild ride lately, with its value fluctuating wildly. And honestly, I'm…

By uncede
4 Min Read

CNN Host Begs Stephen Miller to Please, for the Love of All Things Holy, Stop Yelling at the Furniture

I'm just going to dive right into this, because, honestly, who needs an introduction when you've got a story like this? White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy Stephen Miller got heated on air while discussing Elon Musk and DOGE - yeah, that's right, DOGE, the cryptocurrency that's apparently all the rage now (or so I've been told, I mean, I'm not exactly a crypto expert, but I've heard it's a thing). Anyway, where…

By uncede
4 Min Read

Trump Claims Inflation is Back, Immediately Blames Obama, Clinton, and the Guy Who Cut Him Off in Traffic This Morning

I mean, come on, Trump is at it again, claiming inflation is back and he's got nothing to do with it - yeah, right, sure, because we all know he's been living under a rock, or maybe just in a world of his own making, where facts are optional and alternative truths are the norm. But let's get real here, the guy's been meddling with economic policies left and right, and now he's trying to…

By uncede
4 Min Read

CNN Files FOIA Request About DOGE, Gets Response Written in Crayon by Intern Named ‘DogeMcDogeFace’

What is going on here? When CNN requested some information about security clearances for Elon Musk and other personnel at the so-called Department of Government Efficiency, they got a response that was just, well, great. An email from the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) basically said "good luck with that" - and I'm paraphrasing here - because they fired the whole privacy team. But wait, an OPM official said that's not entirely true, they just,…

By uncede
4 Min Read