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Elon Musk Demands Federal Workers Prove They’re Not Just Playing Solitaire All Day, Immediately Regrets It
I'm just going to say it, Elon Musk's latest email debacle is a trainwreck waiting to happen. The guy's got some serious nerves sending an email to every federal worker asking them to explain their accomplishments, like they're some kind of employee or something. I mean, what's next, is he going to start micromanaging the entire government? And let's be real, the email itself sounds like it was written by a petulant child (no offense…
Germany’s New Leader Desperately Searches for Escape Route from Trump’s Next Awkward Hug
I'm just so excited to talk about Germany's new leader and their utter disgust with Trump - I mean, who wouldn't be, right? And let's be real, it's not like we didn't see this coming, at all. But what's really interesting is how Germany's new leader is basically like, "Peace out, Trump, we're good" - and honestly, same, Germany, same. And can we just take a moment to appreciate how Olaf Scholz is basically the…
Bernie Sanders single-handedly holding Democrats together with duct tape and sheer force of will.
Politics books are flying off the shelves, and I'm not surprised - with the current state of affairs, who doesn't want to stay informed? But seriously, have you seen the crowds that Sen. Bernie Sanders is drawing lately? I mean, the man is like a rockstar, minus the guitar and questionable fashion choices. And don't even get me started on his coast-to-coast tour - it's like he's trying to make a point or something. But…
Philadelphia Eagles’ Refusal to Attend White House Visit Sparks Outrage Among People Who Still Think the McRib is a Good Idea
And, honestly, can you believe the drama that's unfolding? The Philadelphia Eagles, fresh from their Super Bowl victory, have reportedly given the White House the cold shoulder, and President Donald Trump supporters are having a total meltdown. I mean, who wouldn't want to meet the president, right? (sarcasm alert). But seriously, the Eagles' decision has sparked a heated debate, with some people applauding their move and others calling for a boycott of the team. But…
Jane Fonda Demands Nation Drop Everything to Protest Trump, Right After She Finishes Her Nap and Eats Another Salad
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the latest Industry News, and I'm getting increasingly frustrated by the minute - it's like trying to read a very long, very dramatic book with no clear plot, but somehow it's still managing to keep me on the edge of my seat. And can we take a moment to appreciate the sheer awesomeness of award-winning movies, I mean, who doesn't love a good underdog story, right? But,…
Breaking: AI Video of Trump Kissing Elon Musk’s Feet Plays on Repeat in HUD Office, Suddenly Becomes Most Popular Decor Choice in Federal Buildings
And so, it begins - the epic saga of Donald Trump and Elon Musk attempting to "improve" the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). But, let's be real, who needs experience or competence when you have, well, Trump and Musk? I mean, it's not like they're trying to destroy the department or anything (oh wait, that's exactly what they're doing). But, I digress. So, the employees at HUD decided to, shall we say, "express"…
Musk’s Masterplan Foiled: Trump Officials Suddenly Remember They Have Spines, Elon Left Crying in Corner Eating Last Year’s Twitter Codes
And what's happening in the world of politics, you ask? Well, let me tell you, it's a total mess. House Republicans are facing angry voter revolts back at home over Elon Musk's so-called Department of Government Efficiency, which is just a fancy way of saying "cutting spree" (check out this article from NBC News for more on this). I mean, who thought it was a good idea to put Elon Musk in charge of anything…
Billionaires Threaten to Use Their Money for Something Useful, Democrats Left Panicked and Broke
I'm just so done with the Democratic donors who are suddenly turning off the flow of money, because, you know, their feelings got hurt or something (can you believe it?). And let's be real, who needs donations to run a campaign when you have... well, actually, you kind of need them. But I guess that's not the point, the point is that these donors are just so fed up with the Democratic party that they're…
Eagles to Decide Whether to Visit White House or a Place with Better Snacks
Because, you know, the most pressing question on everyone's mind after the Philadelphia Eagles' Super Bowl win is: will they visit the White House? I mean, who doesn't love a good controversy, right? And, of course, Philadelphia Eagles are at the center of it all. But, let's get real for a second, the Eagles have a history with President Trump, and it's not exactly a beautiful friendship. Remember that time they won Super Bowl LII…
BREAKING: Town Hall Meeting Descends into Chaos, Shocking Absolutely No One Who’s Ever Attended a Town Hall Meeting Before
Are we living in some kind of bizarro world where freedom of speech is a thing of the past? Because what happened at that legislative town hall in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, is just utter madness. I mean, a woman gets dragged out of a public meeting by unidentified, plainclothes security personnel for heckling legislators - is this the kind of democracy we're trying to build? And let's get one thing straight - Teresa Borrenpohl, the…