Trump’s Ego Spontaneously Combusts, Nation Shocked by Sudden Lack of Hot Air
Because who needs the Department of Education, right? I mean, what's the point of educating our future generations when we can just, you know, figure it out as we go? But seriously, Congress has to decide whether or not to keep the Department of Education, and let's be real, it's not like Elon Musk is going to swoop in and save the day (although, that would be kind of amazing). And I'm not even kidding,…
Irish Leaders Suddenly Remember They Have Better Things to Do Than Wear Green and Get Drunk with Politicians at White House
So, apparently, the leaders of Ireland's Sinn Féin party, Mary Lou McDonald and Michelle O'Neill, have decided to skip this year's St. Patrick's Day events at the White House, and I'm like, "good for them, I guess?" (I mean, who needs free booze and awkward small talk with Donald Trump anyway?) But seriously, they're protesting Trump's comments on Gaza, which, let's be real, is a total mess. But what's really interesting here is that Sinn…
Trump Supporter Loses Job to Dogecoin Overlord, Claims ‘Rufus the AI Dog’ is Trying to Make America Howl Again
I am just so done with the Donald Trump administration, you know? I mean, can you believe they're laying off thousands of IRS workers, including one guy who actually voted for Trump (the guy's books are still selling, though). But, apparently, that's not enough to save your job if you're a probationary employee with less than a year of service. And then there's this quote from Robert McCabe, the guy who got laid off: "I…
GOP Rep. Rich McCormick Survives Town Hall Event, Barely Escapes with Pants Intact and Dignity Somewhat Damaged
And let's get this straight, folks, a town hall event that was supposed to be a lovely, civil discussion about the issues turned into a complete and utter disaster, because, of course, it did. But what's really interesting is that GOP Rep. Rich McCormick thought he could just waltz in there and expect everyone to be all smiles and agree with him, (because that's always how it goes, right?). And then, the locals showed up,…
California Crowd Treats Trump Transportation Secretary with Same Level of Respect They Show to a Dodgers Fan at an Giants Game
I mean, can you believe it, the crowd in California went absolutely bonkers, booing the living daylights out of Trump's transportation secretary, and honestly, who can blame them? But let's get to the meat of the story, or rather, the lack thereof, because what's really going on here is a whole lot of posturing and not a whole lot of action, if you know what I mean. And don't even get me started on the…
Trump Official Declares Social Security ‘So Last Season’ as Administration Prepares to Cut Benefits and Replace Them with participation Trophies
Can you believe it? Donald Trump and Elon Musk are once again spewing baseless claims that tens of millions of dead people are collecting Social Security payments - because, you know, that's exactly what we need, more alternative facts. And, of course, they're using this as an excuse to cut Medicare and Medicaid - because who needs healthcare, anyway? But let's get real here - the real goal is to make dramatic cuts to these…
Elon Musk Too Busy Playing Video Games to Attend DOGE Meetings, Rep. Crockett Issues Stern Warning: ‘Come Through, Boo, or We’ll Send a Fleet of Teslas to Your House’
Can you believe this guy? I mean, Elon Musk is just out here, doing his thing, and Texas Rep. Jasmine Crockett is calling him out for the actions of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). And, honestly, it's about time someone did. I mean, have you seen the stuff they're doing? Firing people who work with nuclear bombs? That's just crazy talk. And, let's be real, Donald Trump's ally, Elon Musk, is just making things…
Elon Musk Blasts Off Into Tantrum After Astronaut Exposes His Galactic Gaslighting Scheme
Okay, let's get this straight, Elon Musk is complaining about people not being honest, but then he literally lies about astronauts being abandoned in space. And then, when someone calls him out on it, he resorts to using slurs. Because, you know, that's what adults do when they're caught in a lie. And by the way, have you seen the books about Elon Musk on Amazon? There are some really great ones that delve…
Breaking: Trump Discovers Elon Musk is Secretly a Doge, Not a Billionaire, and the Economy Immediately Improves
I'm just going to dive right into this, because, honestly, I have no idea how to process the sheer amount of nonsense that's been spewed out by certain individuals (cough, Donald Trump, cough). But, let's get down to business. Apparently, Trump thinks that Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the President of Ukraine, is some kind of comedian who's managed to swindle the United States out of $350 billion dollars. And, you know what? I think that's a pretty…
Billionaire Genius Elon Musk Leaves Trump in Dust, Mostly Because Trump Forgot His Participation Trophy at Home
I mean, can you believe what Elon Musk just said? It's like, hello, rich people, care about the country, because, you know, if America falls, your business will too, obviously. And, by the way, have you seen the economy books on Amazon, they're like, totally relevant to this conversation. But, let's get back to Musk's statement, it's like, the rich people should care more about the country, because, well, it's just common sense. I mean,…