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One of the Grimmest Days in American Diplomacy, or as We Call it, Tuesday
What just happened at the White House? I'm still trying to wrap my head around the utter chaos that unfolded when President Donald Trump and Vice President J. D. Vance met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion - you knew it was going to end badly, but you couldn't look away. And let's be real, it was bad. Trump and Vance treated Zelensky like a punching…
Trump Convinces Self He’s a Diplomatic Genius, World Laughs So Hard It Snorts Coffee Out Its Nose
I mean, what's going on here? Trump's Oval Office show is like a bad parody of The Godfather, but instead of being the Don, he's more like Luca Brasi, you know, the dim-witted but lovable enforcer, except in this case, the mob boss is none other than Vladimir Putin. But, I guess, in all fairness, being a sidekick to a Russian dictator is still a pretty big deal, right? I mean, who needs to be…
Trump and Zelenskyy Engage in Intense Game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, World Leaders Hold Breath as Tiebreaker Decide’s Global Fate
Welcome to the most epic rant of the century! I'm still trying to process the sheer audacity of the events that transpired in the Oval Office last Friday. The president of the United States, along with his trusty sidekick Vice President J. Divan Vance, decided to berate Ukraine's president, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, in front of the press and public. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right? And then, Vance had the nerve to lecture Zelenskyy…
Zelensky Claims Innocence, Completely Forgets He’s Dealing with a Guy Who Thinks Windmills Cause Cancer
I am just so done with these politicians and their endless drama, and this story about Zelensky and Trump is just the latest example of how they can't seem to get along. But, I mean, who needs diplomacy when you can just have a public spat, right? And, seriously, Zelensky says he doesn't think he did anything wrong - are you kidding me? But, let's get real here, this whole thing is just a big…
Trump’s Brain Spontaneously Combusts, Experts Blame Ukraine President’s Beard
Corruption in politics - because who needs ethics, anyway? Muldoon, a guy with a questionable business history, has been cozying up to law enforcement officials, including former Nevada Attorney General Adam Laxalt. And by "cozying up," I mean he's been donating lots of money to their campaigns. But wait, it gets better - Muldoon and Patel, the current FBI director, are basically BFFs. They've got taken golf trips together to Scotland, because who doesn't love…
Breaking: President Caught Doing the Unthinkable in the Oval Office – No, It Wasn’t Eating a Whole Pizza by Himself (But That’s Happened Too)
Wake-up call for America: it's time to acknowledge that the leadership has switched sides in the war, and it's not just a minor blip on the radar. I mean, what's next? Are we going to start singing the Russian national anthem during baseball games? (By the way, has anyone tried searching for Russian national anthem on Amazon? Interesting results, let me tell you.) And let's get real here, the Ukrainian delegation getting kicked out of…
Federal Judge Rules Trump’s Firing Spree Was Actually Just a Midlife Crisis and Someone Please Take Away His Twitter
Let's get this straight - a federal judge in California, Judge William Alsup, just called out the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) for being completely out of line, and I'm not surprised, are you? I mean, who needs laws and regulations when you've got billionaire pals like Elon Musk pulling the strings, right? (Can someone please explain to me why we're still allowing billionaires to run the show?) But, I digress - Alsup basically said…
Sanders Steps Back into Role as Professional Rich Guy Yeller
I am just so excited to be talking about this, Bernie Sanders is back at it again, because apparently, someone has to save us from the evil clutches of the wealthy elite (yawn). And let's be real, who better to do it than a 79-year-old man who's been screaming about the same issues for decades? I mean, it's not like he's just a one-trick pony or anything (ahem, one-trick pony). But seriously, Sanders is calling…
Zelensky Flees White House After Epic Shouting Match with Trump, Vance Leaves with Entire Box of Unused Diplomacy Crayons
And here we go again, folks, with another episode of the Trump Show, where the main character, Donald Trump, decides to throw a tantrum in the Oval Office, this time with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky as his guest star. But, I mean, who needs diplomacy when you can just yell at people and make baseless accusations, right? (Or, as I like to call it, "Trump-style diplomacy.") Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's…
Tesla Stock Plummets 26% After Elon Musk’s Ill-Advised ‘Nazi’ Salute; Investors Realize He’s Been Driving Them Crazy This Whole Time
Can you believe it? The Tesla stock has plummeted a whopping 26 percent since Elon Musk decided to get all buddy-buddy with Donald Trump and threw out that super classy (not) Nazi salute at Trump's inauguration party (because who doesn't love a good Nazi salute, am I right?). And, let's be real, Musk's company, Tesla, was already on shaky ground, but this latest stunt has sent the stock into a free fall, dropping from $424.07…