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Trump Supporters Suddenly Realize They’re the Ones Getting Tariff-ed, Shocked to Discover ‘America First’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Me First’
I'm literally losing it over here, folks, as I watch Donald Trump supporters freak out over the new Trump tariffs - it's like they never saw this trainwreck coming (and by "trainwreck," I mean the entirety of Trump's presidency). But, I guess that's what happens when you blindly follow someone without questioning their policies (read: tweets). And, seriously, who didn't see this meltdown coming - I mean, the writing was on the wall, people! The…
Trump Treats Himself to Golf and Steak, Because Who Needs a Functioning Economy Anyway?
And then, Donald Trump just casually walked away from the chaos he created, because, why not? I mean, who needs to worry about the economy or anything when you can just golf and tweet, right? (Can someone please explain to me why I should care about his golf score, though?) But, allegedly, he did manage to squeeze in some time to defend his tariffs while hosting some racing car champions at the White House, because…
Nation Horrified By Sudden Onset of Sanity: Democrats Baffled As to Why Everyone Isn’t Questioning Trump’s Mental State 24/7
I am just so done with the escalating tariff war with China, it's like, can't we all just get along? But no, Donald Trump has to go and make things worse, because, why not, right? And then there's his book, which I'm pretty sure is just a collection of his tweets printed out on paper. And let's talk about Rep. Jasmine Crockett, who's all like "why isn't anyone questioning Trump's mental fitness?" Um, isn't that…
The Straits Times: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Bad News in Your Life Already
And let's dive into the chaotic world of Singaporean politics, where GE2025 is just around the corner, and everyone is losing their minds (or what's left of it). But, I mean, who needs sanity when you have politics? But, seriously, have you seen the number of candidates that have been unveiled so far? It's like a never-ending parade of new faces, each one trying to out-do the other in a battle of wits, charm, and,…
Breakthrough: RFK Jr. Discovers New, Innovative Ways to Clear Room with Conspiracy Theories and Bad Impressions of a sailors’ convention
What a delightful mess we have here - a 40-minute tirade by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. that has left everyone's jaws dropped, including mine, and not in a good way, because honestly, who needs that much drama in their lives. During his... let's call it a speech, Kennedy decided to use a disability slur, because why not, right, and causally mentioned "deep state" conspiracy theories, like they're going out of style or something, and accused…
Trump’s Tariffs: Because Who Needs to Actually Collect the Money, Anyway?
I mean, who didn't see this coming? The whole tariff disaster was just a big idea with no plan, kind of like my decision to have an extra shot of espresso this morning (just, you know, FYI, it's been a great decision so far). But, and I'm just throwing this out there, maybe, just maybe, the fact that no one is collecting these tariffs is the universe's way of telling us something - like, hey,…
Trump’s DOJ Successfully Tests Limits of ‘How Many Judges Can We Ignore Before Someone Notices’ Policy with Latest Deportation Debacle
I'm just going to say it - the Trump administration is a masterclass in chaos and incompetence. I mean, who needs to follow court orders, right? It's not like they're, you know, the law of the land or anything. Anyway, so they're refusing to provide information on how they plan to return a wrongly deported Maryland dad, Kilmar Abrego Garcia, by the Friday morning deadline. Because, you know, the timeframe imposed by the judge is…
Trump’s 5-Hour Physical Exam Ends with Doctors Prescribing More Ego Strokes and a Crash Diet of Hamburgers and Reality TV
Let's talk about Donald Trump's latest physical exam - because, you know, the world was just missing that kind of excitement. But, I mean, can you blame us for being curious? I'm pretty sure I've spent less time at the doctor's office, and that's including the time I had to get a flu shot. And what's with the massive bruise on his hand? I've had my fair share of clumsy moments, but an "aggressive handshake"…
MAGA Beekeeper Stung by Reality, Now 50% Less Busy Making Honey, 100% More Busy Making Excuses for Trump
Donald Trump, the hero we all need (note the heavy sarcasm), has done it again - his tariffs are killing small businesses, and I'm not just talking about any small businesses, I'm talking about a beekeeper who voted for him not once, not twice, but three times! I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right? But, let's dive deeper into this catastrophe, and I use that word lightly. Jim Hartman, the aforementioned beekeeper, is now…
Trump Admin Offers Greenlanders $10,000 Each to Become 51st State, Plus Free Hamburgers and a Participation Trophy
I'm just going to say it - the Trump administration has officially lost its mind! They're considering giving each Greenland resident a whopping $10,000 to annex the island, because who needs a functioning brain when you have money, right? Apparently, the plan is to replace the $600 million Denmark gives the territory in subsidies every year, because clearly, that's not enough to buy people's loyalty. And let's be real, this isn't just some crazy idea…