Trump’s Post-‘Liberation Day’ Polls So Bad, Republicans Considering Liberating Themselves from Him
Are you tired of winning yet? Because, apparently, President Donald Trump's new tariff policy is the gift that keeps on giving - only if you're into that whole "largest peacetime tax hike in U.S. history" kind of thing (you know, the kind of thing that makes you wonder if someone put a "who needs an economy anyway?" bumper sticker on the White House). And, of course, the Republican National Committee was completely unavailable for comment…
GOP Megadonor Loses Mind, Finds Sanity in Unexpected Place: A Strong Stance Against Trump’s Tariff Tantrums
And can you believe it, folks, Ken Langone, the co-founder of Home Depot, is speaking out against Donald Trump's tariffs, calling them "bulls--t" - what a refreshing burst of honesty in a world of politically correct mumbo-jumbo. But let's be real, who didn't see this coming, right? I mean, Trump's tariffs are about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face, and just as effective at solving complex economic issues (read: not at all). And…
Billionaire Bill Ackman Suddenly Discovers Morals, Ditches Trump Over Tariffs, Film at 11
Let's get this rant started - Wealthy business leaders are finally turning on US President Donald Trump over his utterly brilliant plan to impose a colossal set of tariffs on America’s trading partners, because, you know, that's exactly what the world needs right now, more tariffs. But, seriously, billionaire investor Bill Ackman warned that going ahead with the new tariffs is tantamount to launching an “economic nuclear war” - now, that's what I call a…
Trump’s Genius Plan: Open Borders to Let in Cheap Brain Cells to Combat Cognitive Decline
I mean, seriously, who tries to be on good terms with a vaccine-skeptic boss, right? Marks thought he could just waltz in and make nice with RFK Jr., developing some sort of "vaccine transparency action plan" - because, you know, transparency is exactly what you need when you're dealing with people who don't believe in science. And then Marks gives Kennedy and his team access to the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS), but draws…
New Bill Aims to Stop Trump from Tariff-ing Away What’s Left of Our Sanity (and the Economy)
I am just so done with the constant back-and-forth on tariffs, it's like, can't we all just get along? Markets are tumbling, financial sector leaders are freaking out, and our allies are all like "um, what's going on?" - all because of President Trump's latest tariff announcement. And now, some House Republican (I'm looking at you, Rep. Don Bacon) is trying to introduce legislation to limit the White House's ability to impose tariffs without Congress'…
Trump Tantrum Tuesday: Stocks Take a Dive, Nation Shrugs and Says ‘Same’
What's going on with the stock market, right? It's like a rollercoaster, and not the fun kind. The S&P 500 briefly entered bear market territory, which is just a fancy way of saying it fell 20% from its most recent high. And let's not forget the NASDAQ and the Dow Jones Industrial Average, which opened down 4.5% and 3.78% respectively. I mean, who needs stability, anyway? And then, there was that crazy rumor that Trump…
7 GOP Senators Suddenly Remember They Have Spines, Temporarily
I'm just so done with politics, but let's dive into this mess - 7 GOP senators have signed on to a bill that aims to limit Trump's trade authority, because who doesn't love a good game of constitutional chicken? And can we talk about how this is just a clear example of the "_separation of powers_" in action (or inaction, depending on how you look at it)? But, I mean, come on, 7 senators out…
Massive Gathering of People Who Still Can’t Believe They Have to Protest This Guy Again Planned for April 19
I'm just so done with all the protests, aren't you? Like, can't we all just get along? (Or can we?) Protest signs are literally taking over the world - or at least my social media feeds. Anyway, so there's this group, 50501, and they're all about organizing protests in all 50 states against President Donald Trump. Because, you know, one protest just isn't enough. And let's talk about the "Hands Off!" protests, shall we? I…
Trump Demands $92 Million Parade to Celebrate His Own Amazing Hair
I mean, can you believe this? The Trump administration is at it again, disregarding court orders like they're going out of style. And what's the reason this time? Oh, of course, it's all about barring those pesky "sanctuary" states from getting their hands on some much-needed FEMA funds. Because, you know, who needs help with natural disasters when you can just, you know, asaki your way through it? And let's talk about these poor states,…
Trump Demands 400-Mile Military Parade for His 79th Birthday, Complete with Tank Floats, Fighter Jet Waiters, and a Personal Apotheosis Ceremony
I'm just going to say it: President Donald Trump is planning a military parade in Washington, D.C. on his 79th birthday, because, why not? I mean, who needs world peace or a functioning government when you can have tanks and fighter jets, right? And, of course, it's going to be on the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, because that's not a blatant attempt to piggyback on a historic event or anything. But wait, it…