Popular Post
Trump Freezes $175M of UPenn Funds After Realizing Trans Women Still Won’t Date Him
I am literally fed up with the latest news, you guys - the Trump administration has frozen $175 million in federal funding from the University of Pennsylvania, and I'm like, why, though? Apparently, it's because of their policies that allow trans women to compete in women's sports, which, in my humble opinion, is just a ridiculous reason to take away funding from an educational institution. And, by the way, can we talk about how this…
Trump Declares Canada 51st State, Immediately Demands They Pay for Their Own Wall and Start Serving Trump Steaks
Are you kidding me? President Donald Trump is at it again, and this time he's calling for Canada to become the 51st state of the United States. Because, you know, that's exactly what Canada needs - to be absorbed by its southern neighbor and lose all its sovereignty. I mean, who needs independence and self-governance, right? And what's with Trump's obsession with Canada? He's always imposing tariffs on Canadian imports and making threats about taking…
Now Boris Johnson Discovers Spine, Shockingly Tells Trump to Stop Being Putin’s Plaything (Just Kidding, He’s Still a Mess)
I mean, can you believe this guy, Boris Johnson, and his rant about Donald Trump's failed talks with Vladimir Putin? Like, what did he expect? That Putin would just magically agree to a ceasefire and start singing "Kumbaya" with the rest of the world? Give me a break! And Johnson's all like, "Putin's laughing at us!" - well, no kidding, Boris! You think Putin's just going to roll over and play dead because Trump gives…
I Spent 2 Weeks in ICE Detention and All I Got Was a Free Meal Ticket to aNever-Ending Nightmare of Bureaucratic Red Tape and a T-Shirt That Says ‘I’d Rather Be Apologizing for Being Canadian’
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the sheer absurdity of this story - a Canadian woman, detained by Ice without warning, and thrown into a detention center like a common criminal. I mean, what's next? Are they going to start detaining tourists for wearing the wrong socks? But, And, as I delve deeper into this nightmare, I realize that this is not just a story about one woman's ordeal, but a scathing critique…
Supreme Court Justice John Roberts Suddenly Remembers He Has a Spine, MAGA World Implodes in Shock
I mean, seriously, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is facing MAGA backlash - what a shock, right? Because, you know, the guy actually decided to do his job and rebuke President Donald Trump for his, shall we say, "creative" interpretation of the Alien Enemies Act of 1798. But let's get real here - Trump is all about impeachment these days, and his latest target is U.S. District Judge James E. Boasberg, who had the…
GOP Senator’s ‘Trump Derangement’ Bill Clearly Worked: He’s Completely Lost His Mind (and Pants) Over a Minor
I'm just going to say it - what is wrong with some people in power? Minnesota Senator Justin Eichorn, a 40-year-old married man with children, was arrested for allegedly soliciting a minor for prostitution. Yes, you read that right - a minor! This happened on the same day he sponsored a bill that would recognize "Trump derangement syndrome" as a legitimate mental illness. Because, you know, that's exactly what we need - a law that…
Adam Kinzinger Challenges Trump to Arrest Him, Promptly Offers to Bring His Own Handcuffs and a Refreshing Lunch from Subway
And let's get this straight, former Rep. Adam Kinzinger is basically daring Donald Trump to bring it on, to criminally charge him, because, you know, that's exactly what this whole situation needs - more drama. But, I mean, can you blame him? I'd want to dare Trump too, just to see the look on his face. (By the way, has anyone seen the books written by Donald Trump? I heard they're, uh, interesting.) And, honestly,…
Department of Defense Websites Suddenly Forget Jackie Robinson Ever Existed, Coincidentally Right After Someone Asked to Use the Copier
I mean, seriously, who needs history anyway, right? The Department of Defense has apparently decided to scrub all mentions of Jackie Robinson's army history from their websites, because, you know, he was just a baseball player or something (and by something, I mean a trailblazing civil rights icon, but who's counting?). And let's be real, who doesn't love a good game of "let's erase the past" - it's like a national pastime or something. But…
Trump’s Approval Rating Plummets, But His Hair Remains Surprisingly Resilient According to Nation’s Most Accurate and Completely Not Made-Up Pollster
Can you believe it? President Donald Trump's approval rating has taken a nosedive, and I'm not surprised, not one bit. According to a poll conducted by AtlasIntel, his approval rating is currently at 47 percent, while 52 percent disapprove of his job performance. I mean, who didn't see this coming? And let's talk about the Nate Silver guy, shall we? He's like the polling guru or something. Anyway, he says AtlasIntel is the most accurate…
Elon Musk Deployes Robot Dog Army to Confiscate Local Charity’s Office Supplies, Citing ‘Ruff’ Competition
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this absurd story, and I'm already at my wit's end - apparently Elon Musk's DOGE has used police to seize an independent nonprofit, because why not, right? And let's be real, who needs due process or basic human rights when you're dealing with a billionaire's favorite cryptocurrency? But I mean, what's next, are they going to start seizing people's cryptocurrency books because they don't align with Musk's…