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Senator Cory Booker Delivers Marathon Speech, Somehow Still Doesn’t Run Out of Hot Air to Protest Trump Policies
Congratulations, Senator Cory Booker, you've managed to outlast me and probably every other sane person on the planet! I mean, who needs sleep when you're on a mission to shame those House conservatives for their fiscal cruelty and irresponsibility? (Yeah, good luck with that, because, you know, they're not exactly known for their listening skills.) And let's be real, what Booker is doing is not technically a filibuster, but who's counting? He's still talking, and…
Cory Booker Shatters Record for Most Words Uttered Without Actually Saying Anything Substantive in Scathing 12-Hour Takedown of Trump’s Hair
Let's talk about Cory Booker's ridiculous, amazing, and utterly insane 25-hour speech on the Senate floor. And I mean, who needs sleep when you're on a mission to disrupt the normal business of the United States Senate, right? But seriously, the man spoke for 25 hours and four minutes, breaking the record for the longest-ever speech on the Senate floor, and I'm over here wondering how he didn't collapse from exhaustion. As he began speaking…
Cory Booker Stays Awake for 12 Whole Hours, Sets New Personal Record: NPR
Let's talk about Sen. Cory Booker's marathon speech on the Senate floor, which has been going on for over 24 hours - I mean, who needs sleep when you're trying to make a point, right? And what a point it is - Booker is protesting the Trump administration's policies, and I've got to say, I'm impressed by his endurance. I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that he's been speaking for so long or…
Feds to Seek Death Penalty for Mangione, AKA The Guy Who Finally Took Out His Boss for Making Him Attend Too Many Meetings
Breaking News: Justice System Loses Its Mind! I mean, who needs compassion or rehabilitation when you can just kill people, right? But seriously, have you seen the latest development in the Luigi Mangione case? It's like the justice system has finally gone off the deep end. And I'm not even kidding, Attorney General Pam Bondi is seeking the death penalty against Mangione, the suspect in the killing of UnitedHealth Group CEO Brian Thompson. Because, you…
Trump Admin Achieves New Level of Incompetence, Successfully Deports Random Guy to El Salvador Prison, Gets Participation Trophy
Are you kidding me?! The Trump administration has managed to outdo itself in a spectacular display of incompetence and heartlessness. They've deported a Maryland father with protected status to a notorious Salvadoran mega prison, and now they're refusing to bring him home. But wait, it gets better - they're claiming that the courts can't make them do it. because, you know, reasons. And let's talk about the so-called "reasons" behind this debacle. Apparently, the government…
Democrats Frantically Try to Stop Trump from Turning Elections into a Game of ‘The Apprentice’ Where He Gets to Fire the Voters
Can you believe this?! The Democratic Party is actually suing President Donald Trump over his utterly ridiculous executive order that attempts to take control of elections away from the states - because, you know, that's exactly what the Constitution says, right? (Or not.) I mean, who needs states' rights when you have Trump, am I right? And let's get real, of course the order has drawn widespread criticism from election officials and voting rights advocates,…
Genius at Work: Musk Pays People to Vote in Wisconsin, Conveniently Forgets He’s Not a Bond Villain
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this Elon Musk guy - the world's richest man, no less - getting heckled at a rally in Wisconsin and then proceeding to claim that the hecklers were paid operatives of George Soros, because, you know, that's not a totally overused and baseless conspiracy theory or anything. And let's get this straight, he was in Green Bay to support his buddy Brad Schimel, the Republican candidate for…
Trump Admin Successfully Tests New ‘Extreme Vacation’ Package, Sends Unlucky Dad to Salvadorian Luxury Prison Resort
I'm just so done with the Trump administration and their constant blunders - can't they just get it together for once? And I'm not even talking about their latest antics, although those are pretty cringeworthy too. But seriously, who deportes a guy with protected immigration status to a notorious Salvadorian prison by mistake? I mean, what's next, are they going to try to sell Greenland again or something? And don't even get me started on…
Let’s Not Confuse Our Gay Hairdressers with Actual Thugs, They’re Armed with Hairspray, Not Handguns
Wow, just what we needed, another example of the Trump administration's deportation spree gone wrong, and Joe Rogan is all over it, because, you know, someone has to be, right? I mean, can you believe that a gay Venezuelan makeup artist was deported to El Salvador without due process? Andry, the 31-year-old makeup artist, was seeking asylum in the United States, but instead, he got a one-way ticket to El Salvador, where he's now being…
Access Denied: Because You Clearly Can’t Be Trusted with the Wi-Fi Password
Ugh, can you believe it? I'm trying to read this super important article about The Telegraph and I get a big fat "Access Denied" error message - because, of course, I don't have the proper clearance to view the article about tax rise on their server. But let's get real, what's the point of even having a website if you're just going to block people from reading the content? And don't even get me started…