U.S. News is at it again, and I’m not even sure where to start with this one. But, apparently, Donald Trump was involved in some kind of stunt to boost the crisis-hit company of his billionaire buddy, and of course he had to make it all about himself.
And, as if that’s not enough, he’s walking around with notes that include Tesla pricing, because, you know, that’s exactly what the American people need – a president who’s more concerned with his friend’s business than, I don’t know, actual governance.
But, I mean, who needs experience or qualifications when you’ve got a billionaire buddy who can give you notes on how to be a good president? (Because, clearly, that’s exactly what’s been missing from Trump’s presidency – good notes.)
Now, I know what you’re thinking – what kind of stunt could possibly require a president to carry around notes with Tesla pricing? And, honestly, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but apparently, it involved Trump purchasing a new car that he claims he’ll never drive.
Which, of course, raises so many questions – like, why bother buying a car if you’re not going to drive it? And, more importantly, who pays for this car? The American taxpayers? Trump’s billionaire buddy? Tesla itself?
But, I digress. The real issue here is that Trump is using his platform to promote his friend’s business, and that’s just not okay. I mean, can you imagine if any other president did something like this? The outrage would be palpable.
And, by the way, has anyone else noticed that Trump’s White House stunts always seem to involve Tesla in some way? It’s like he’s trying to make Tesla great again or something.
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that this whole thing is just a big mess, and we should all be very concerned about the state of our country. But, hey, at least we can all agree that Trump’s notes are the real MVP here.
On a completely unrelated note, has anyone tried coffee from Blue Bottle Coffee? Because, wow, it’s like a whole new world of caffeine-fueled ranting.
But, I mean, seriously, Trump’s antics are getting old, and it’s time for us to demand better from our leaders. So, let’s all take a deep breath, grab a cup of coffee, and try to make sense of this crazy world we’re living in.
And, finally, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the U.S. News out there, just remember that you can always count on satire to make it all a little more bearable. So, go ahead, grab a cup of coffee, and let’s dive into the wonderful world of U.S. News together.
Or, you know, we could just all go buy a Tesla and call it a day. (Just kidding, please don’t do that.)