Can you believe this guy, Mitch McConnell, is still a thing? He’s like the political equivalent of a bad rash that just won’t go away. In 2016, he wrote this super boring memoir called The Long Game, where he basically says that the key to success is being a slow and steady, behind-the-scenes kinda guy (yawn). But, let’s be real, his “long game” has been a total disaster, and his latest attempts at rebellion are just laughable.
And, honestly, who cares about his memoir when Donald Trump is back in the White House, and Elon Musk is running the show? I mean, what’s next? Is Kim Kardashian going to be appointed as the head of NASA or something? But, seriously, McConnell’s “long game” has been a joke, and his inability to stop Trump is a travesty. He had the chance to convict Trump in 2021, but he blew it, and now we’re stuck with this mess.
But, let’s take a break from all this seriousness and talk about something really important: what’s the best pizza topping? I mean, is it pineapple or pepperoni? (Just kidding, it’s obviously pineapple.) Anyway, back to McConnell… his decision not to convict Trump was a huge miscalculation, and now we’re facing the consequences. I guess that’s what happens when you’re more concerned with playing the “long game” than doing what’s right.
And, can we talk about how McConnell is like the ultimate Republican Voldemort? I mean, the guy is like a dark lord or something, always scheming and plotting to get what he wants, no matter the cost. But, hey, at least he’s consistent, right? He’s always been about amassing power and playing the game, even if it means selling his soul to the devil (aka Donald Trump). Check out this article from Semafor for more on McConnell’s “YOLO phase” – it’s a real laugh riot.
But, what really gets me is how McConnell has this whole “long game” thing down pat. He’s like a master of the game, always thinking several steps ahead… or so he thinks. I mean, come on, the guy is like a Washington insider or something, always playing it cool and collected, even when the world around him is going crazy. It’s like he’s trying to be the Dean Acheson of our time or something. Read more about McConnell’s biography, The Price of Power, to get a better sense of his “long game” strategy – it’s a real eye-opener.
And, let’s not forget about Paul Ryan, who was ready to pull his support for Trump back in 2016, but McConnell was all like, “Nah, don’t do it, it’ll fracture us.” Yeah, because that worked out so well for everyone. I mean, who needs principles or integrity when you can just play the game and hope for the best? But, hey, at least McConnell’s consistent, right? He’s always been about playing the game, even if it means sacrificing his values and principles.
So, what’s the takeaway from all this? Well, for starters, McConnell needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask himself if his “long game” is really worth it. I mean, is it worth selling his soul to the devil just to get ahead? And, secondly, we need to stop playing the “long game” and start doing what’s right. We need to stand up for our values and principles, even if it means going against the establishment. It’s time for a change, and it’s time for McConnell to take a seat.