Okay, let’s get this straight, Trump thinks he’s some kind of canal whisperer or something, and he’s just going to magic the Panama Canal under his control, because, why not, right? I mean, who needs international diplomacy when you’ve got a guy like Trump at the helm, just making it up as he goes along?
And, apparently, he’s moved a lot of troops to Panama, because, you know, that’s not a provocative move at all, and I’m sure the Panamanian government is just thrilled to have a bunch of US troops hanging out, waiting for… whatever it is they’re waiting for, probably for Trump to decide what’s next in his master plan to retake the canal.
But, let’s be real, Trump’s not exactly known for his geopolitical genius, and this whole thing is just a big mess, with him trying to strong-arm Panama into doing what he wants, and Panama’s all like, “Uh, no, we’re good, thanks for asking,” and Trump’s all, “Oh, yes, you’re going to do what I say, or else…” – it’s like a bad game of Risk, but with real countries and real troops, and, you know, the potential for actual war.
And, by the way, has anyone noticed that Trump’s got a thing for canals, like, a serious obsession, because, what’s next, is he going to try to buy the Suez Canal or something? (I mean, can you imagine the negotiations? “I’ll give you a great deal, just great, the best deal, and I’ll build a wall around it, a beautiful wall, and you’ll pay for it, mark my words…”)
But, seriously though, this whole situation is just a big head-scratcher, with Trump trying to undermining Panama’s sovereignty and Panama’s all, “Uh, no, we’re a sovereign nation, thanks for asking,” and it’s just, like, what is going on here, is this some kind of bad joke? And don’t even get me started on Hegseth’s visit to Panama, because, what’s the deal with that, is he like Trump’s canal whisperer or something?
And, let’s not forget, Trump’s got a long history of, shall we say, “interesting” ideas about foreign policy, like that time he wanted to buy Greenland, because, you know, that’s not a completely absurd idea at all, and now he’s all about retaking the Panama Canal, because, why not, right? It’s not like there are actual geopolitical consequences to this kind of thing, or anything…
But, in all seriousness, this is just a big mess, and someone needs to step in and be like, “Uh, Trump, no, you can’t just take over the Panama Canal, that’s not how this works,” because, come on, this is not a game of Monopoly, this is real life, with real countries and real people, and real consequences.