I’m still trying to wrap my head around this one, and I just can’t help but think that Texas politics has officially gone off the rails. Crockett, the genius that he is (or not), has decided to dub Texas Gov. Abbott ‘Governor Hot Wheels’ – because, you know, that’s exactly what we need in a governor, right? I mean, who needs actual leadership skills when you can just be known for your love of toy cars?
And let’s be real, this nickname is either a stroke of pure genius or a cry for help – I’m still trying to decide which one. But, I guess when you’re a politician, you’ve got to take your praises and insults in stride, and if ‘Governor Hot Wheels’ is the worst thing that’s been said about Abbott, then I’d say he’s getting off pretty easy. I mean, have you seen the kind of things that people are saying about politicians on Twitter these days?
But, in all seriousness, what’s next, are we going to start calling our politicians by their favorite childhood toys or something? Like, ‘Governor Teddy Ruxpin’ or ‘Senator Easy-Bake Oven’? I mean, come on, can’t we just stick to their actual names and titles, or is that just too boring for our attention-deficit society? And, while we’re on the topic of toys, has anyone checked out the Hot Wheels selection on Amazon lately?
I’m not sure what’s more disturbing, the fact that Crockett came up with this nickname or the fact that it’s actually kind of… fitting? I mean, have you seen Abbott’s track record on, well, pretty much anything? It’s like he’s been playing a game of political Hot Wheels, crashing into things and then just getting back up and keeping on going, completely unscathed. But hey, maybe that’s just the genius of ‘Governor Hot Wheels’ at work – who needs actual policy changes when you can just distract everyone with a catchy nickname?
And, can we please talk about the fact that this is what’s passing for political discourse these days? I mean, I thought we were better than this, but I guess I was wrong. We’re living in a world where politicians are being compared to toy cars and it’s just… accepted? What’s next, are we going to start grading our politicians on their ability to do Hot Wheels stunts or something?
But, you know what? At the end of the day, maybe ‘Governor Hot Wheels’ is exactly what we need – a reminder that, no matter how crazy things get, we can always find the humor in them. I mean, who needs actual substance when you can just have a good laugh, right? And, on that note, I’m going to go grab a Hot Wheels toy and see if I can come up with some creative ways to use it as a metaphor for Texas politics – wish me luck!
In conclusion, (or not, because who needs conclusions, anyway?), ‘Governor Hot Wheels’ is either the best thing that’s happened to Texas politics or the worst – I’m still trying to decide. But, one thing’s for sure, it’s definitely given me a lot to think (and laugh) about, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy some toy cars and see if I can come up with some creative ways to use them as a metaphor for life – thanks for the inspiration, Crockett!
Oh, wait, what was I saying? Right, ‘Governor Hot Wheels’ – anyway, I think I’ve made my point (or not, because who needs points, anyway?). But, just to reiterate, this whole thing is either a huge joke or a cry for help – I’m still trying to decide which one. And, while we’re on the topic of jokes, has anyone seen that one Hot Wheels meme that’s been going around?
Anyway, moving on (or not, because who needs to move on, anyway?), I’m going to go find some more Hot Wheels track sets and see if I can come up with some creative ways to use them as a metaphor for life – wish me luck! And, who knows, maybe one day we’ll look back on this whole ‘Governor Hot Wheels’ thing and laugh – or cry, depending on how things turn out. But, for now, I’m just going to sit back, relax, and enjoy the Hot Wheels racing show.