I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the entire administration has committed itself to the president’s pipe dream of annexing Canada as the 51st state – I mean, who wouldn’t want to buy a map of Canada and pretend it’s part of the US, right? It wasn’t just the president’s bizarre appearance with Mark Rutte, the NATO secretary general, in which the president took a short stroll around the Izonkosphere – whatever that means.
And then, there’s this quote from the president: “Canada only works as a state. … This would be the most incredible country visually. If you look at a map, they drew an artificial line right through it, between Canada and the U.S., just a straight artificial line. Somebody did it a long time ago, many, many decades ago, and makes no sense.” I am just going to leave that there, because, well, what can you even say to that?
But, I guess what’s even more surprising is that the president seems to grasp the concept of a border when referring to the “artificial line” separating the United States and Mexico – strange, that. The president went on to say that Canada would be a great state, and that we should just merge the two countries already. Because, you know, it’s not like Canada has its own government, or culture, or anything.
And, of course, the whole episode should have brought about an instantaneous Cabinet meeting at which the 25th Amendment was invoked. The president was clearly irrational. Instead, there was Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick seconding the motion, because why not, right? From the Hill, Lutnick said that the best way to merge the economies of Canada and the US is for Canada to become our 51st state.
It really is a cult, you know. On the Bluesky app, journalist and author Garrett Epps shrewdly pointed out that in Fletcher Knebel’s Night of Camp David, one of the first manifestations of President Mark Hollenbach’s mental illness was his secret desire to merge the United States and Canada—as well as all of Scandinavia—into a single entity called “Aspen.” In fact, the book was reissued during the first Trump administration, and it was referenced on TV by both Rachel Maddow and Bob Woodward.
In the novel, the crazy president sounds almost rational in explaining the irrational. “Canada is the wealthiest nation on earth,” Hollenbach’s words raced after each other. …“The mineral riches under her soil are incredible in their immensity. Even with modern demands, they are well-nigh inexhaustible. Believe me, Jim, Canada will be the seat of power in the next century and, properly exploited and conserved, her riches can go for a thousand years. …
But, let’s not forget the history behind all of this. The American Revolution helped the new country break off those parts of British North America in and around the Great Lakes. We tried to seize the entire country in the War of 1812, but we failed, and we got Washington burned in the bargain. Through the years up to the American Civil War, there were annexation groups on both sides of the border. In 1860, Secretary of State William Seward came close to annexing the territory from Washington state all the way up to Alaska, which at the time was owned by Russia.
And, of course, who could forget the Fenian Brotherhood? They were a product of one of the periodic risings in Ireland against British rule. It was the American wing of what was called in Ireland the Irish Republican Brotherhood. The American Fenians were a substantial force. They had money—upwards of $500,000—and weapons and an army made up of veterans of the American Civil War. After the war, the Fenians launched a series of raids into Canada.
You can learn more about the Fenian Brotherhood and their role in Canadian history. Or, if you’re feeling really adventurous, you could read Night of Camp David and see just how crazy the president’s ideas really are.
In any case, it’s clear that the president’s desire to annex Canada is not just some crazy pipe dream – it’s based on a long history of American attempts to absorb Canada. And, who knows, maybe one day we’ll all be living in the great state of Canada, singing O Canada as our state song. Stranger things have happened, right?