I’m just going to dive right in here and say that President Donald Trump‘s latest physical examination results are a complete joke, and I mean that in the most absurd, hilarious way possible. Apparently, his physician, Captain Sean Barbabella, thinks that Trump’s “frequent victories in golf events” are a legitimate indicator of his excellent health – because, you know, winning at golf is basically the same as being a professional athlete or something.
And let’s be real, who needs actual medical expertise when you can just cite someone’s golf game as evidence of their physical and cognitive health? I mean, it’s not like there are more important factors to consider, like, say, their diet, exercise routine, or mental well-being. Nope, golf is where it’s at, folks. You can find all sorts of golf-related products on Amazon, if you’re interested in improving your own game.
But wait, it gets even better – Trump’s physical exam also revealed that he has a weight of 224 pounds and a resting heart rate of 62 beats per minute, which, according to his doctor, is basically the epitome of excellent health. And, of course, who could forget the fact that he has scaring on his right ear from a gunshot wound, but his hearing is normal? I mean, that’s just a minor detail, right? You can learn more about gunshot wounds and their effects on hearing on various online resources.
Now, I know what you’re thinking – what about all the criticism online, where people are saying that the inclusion of “frequent victories in golf events” in the medical report is completely unnecessary and weakens the assessment? Well, let me tell you, those people are just haters, probably jealous of Trump’s amazing golf skills. I mean, who needs actual medical expertise when you have Twitter, right? You can follow Joe Biden and other politicians on Twitter to stay up-to-date on the latest news and trends.
And, by the way, have you seen the list of Trump’s medications? It’s like a laundry list of random prescription drugs – Rosuvastatin, Ezetimibe, aspirin, and mometasone cream, just to name a few. I mean, I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s not exactly the most comprehensive or effective treatment plan out there. You can find more information on these medications on National Institutes of Health website.
But, hey, at least Trump is scheduled to undergo a further colonoscopy in 2027, so that’s something to look forward to, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a good colonoscopy? It’s not like it’s an invasive medical procedure or anything. You can prepare for your own colonoscopy by reading about the process on Mayo Clinic website.
And, finally, let’s talk about what people are saying about all this – because, you know, Twitter is basically the ultimate source of truth and wisdom. Apparently, some people are saying that Trump is basically the same height and weight as NFL star Taysom Hill, which, um, okay, I guess that’s a thing. And then there’s Gunther Eagleman, a conservative political commentator, who thinks that Trump’s physical results are somehow proof that he’s more capable of being president than Joe Biden. I mean, because, you know, physical health is the only factor that matters when it comes to being a good president.
Anyway, that’s my rant for the day – thanks for tuning in, folks. If you want to learn more about President Trump‘s physical examination results, you can check out the full report on Newsweek website.