I’m just going to say it: President Donald Trump is planning a military parade in Washington, D.C. on his 79th birthday, because, why not? I mean, who needs world peace or a functioning government when you can have tanks and fighter jets, right? And, of course, it’s going to be on the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, because that’s not a blatant attempt to piggyback on a historic event or anything.
But wait, it gets better – the parade is going to march a whole four miles from the Pentagon in Arlington County, Virginia, to the White House, because, you know, that’s not a logistical nightmare or a huge waste of resources. And, apparently, local officials are only just now hearing about the plans, because, you know, transparency and communication are overrated.
And, let’s not forget, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser has already expressed her concerns about the parade, saying that military tanks on the streets of Washington would be a bad idea, unless, of course, they come with a hefty price tag to repair the roads – I mean, who needs functioning infrastructure when you can have a fancy parade? You can check out the Fox News article for more on that.
By the way, have you ever tried to plan a birthday party for a 79-year-old man-child? It’s like trying to negotiate a peace treaty between warring nations – except instead of nations, it’s just a bunch of entitled bureaucrats and sycophants trying to placate the ego of a, well, you know. Anyway, I digress – the White House has “given the county a heads up” about the parade, with only 10 weeks to go, because, you know, that’s plenty of time to plan a massive military parade.
But, I mean, what’s the point of all this? Is it just to feed Trump’s ego, or is there actually a strategic purpose behind this parade? I mean, are we trying to intimidate our enemies or just distract ourselves from the actual problems facing this country? You can check out the Washington Post article for more on Trump’s previous attempts to plan a military parade.
And, can we talk about the cost of this thing? I mean, we’re talking millions of dollars here – money that could be spent on, I don’t know, actual important things like healthcare or education. But no, instead we’re going to spend it on a parade that’s just going to inconvenience a bunch of people and make a bunch of noise. You can check out the Associated Press article for more on the estimated cost of the parade.
But hey, at least we’ll get to see some cool military hardware, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a good tank or fighter jet? It’s not like we’re living in a time of massive inequality and social unrest or anything – no, let’s just focus on the shiny objects and forget about the actual problems facing this country. You can check out the Politico article for more on the cost of previous military parades.
By the way, if you’re interested in learning more about the history of military parades, I’d recommend checking out some books on the subject – it’s actually pretty fascinating stuff.
And, finally, can we talk about the fact that this parade is just a giant distraction from the actual issues facing this country? I mean, we’ve got climate change, racism, inequality – and we’re spending our time and resources on a military parade? It’s like we’re living in some kind of bad joke. You can check out the Daily Beast article for more on Trump’s plans for the parade.
But, hey, what do I know? I’m just a ranting, over-caffeinated person on the internet – what could I possibly know about politics or governance? Maybe I’ll just stick to reading books about politics and leave the actual governing to the experts – like Trump, who clearly has a deep understanding of, well, everything.
And, in conclusion, I’d just like to say that this whole thing is a giant mess – a mess of epic proportions. But, hey, at least we’ll get to see some cool tanks and fighter jets, right? You can check out the Washington City Paper article for more on the parade plans.
By the way, have you ever tried to plan a military parade? It’s like trying to solve a giant puzzle – except instead of pieces, you have tanks and fighter jets and marching bands. Anyway, I digress – the point is, this parade is going to be a wild ride, and I’m just here for the popcorn.