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Bill Ackman Tells Trump to Take a Timeout, Put Down the Tariff Tantrum Pacifier: 'This is Not What We Voted For, Unless We Voted for Economic Chaos' - Uncede | My Take on the News

Bill Ackman Tells Trump to Take a Timeout, Put Down the Tariff Tantrum Pacifier: ‘This is Not What We Voted For, Unless We Voted for Economic Chaos’

5 Min Read

I’m about to lose my mind over this whole trade war debacle, and Bill Ackman’s warning to Trump is just the icing on the cake – or should I say, the sprinkles on the ice cream sundae of chaos that is our current economic climate. Can someone please just hit the pause button already?

But, I digress, because, let’s be real, this trade war is like that one aunt at the family reunion – it just won’t quit. And, honestly, it’s getting to the point where I’m starting to think that maybe, just maybe, we should all just take a step back and reevaluate our life choices, like, have we considered meditation or something? I mean, seriously, who needs this kind of stress in their lives?

And, of course, there’s the issue of national security, because, you know, tariffs are basically the same thing as, say, cybersecurity, right? (Or am I just being sarcastic?) But, in all seriousness, the actual effects of these tariffs on our economy are no joke, folks, and it’s high time someone – aka Bill Ackman – told Trump to call a time-out.

But what really gets my goat is when people say, “Oh, it’s just a trade war, what’s the big deal?” – um, hello, have you seen the global economic forecasts lately? It’s like, hello, we’re talking about a potential recession here, people! (Side note: does anyone know where I can find a good emergency fund guide?)

And, let’s get real for a second, who actually benefits from these tariffs, anyway? Is it the average American consumer, or is it just a bunch of fat cats getting richer off our hard-earned cash? I mean, come on, books have been written about this stuff, and still, we can’t seem to get it together. But, hey, at least we can all agree that Bill Ackman’s warning is a step in the right direction, right?

But, wait, what’s this I hear about trade talks resuming? Oh, joy, because, you know, that’s worked out so well in the past – said no one ever. I mean, can’t we all just get along and, I don’t know, resolve our conflicts like adults? (Is that too much to ask?) And, while we’re at it, can someone please explain to me why we need tariffs in the first place – is it just a fancy way of saying protectionism?

But, in all seriousness, this trade war is no laughing matter, folks, and it’s high time we take a closer look at the facts and figures. I mean, have you seen the trade deficit numbers lately? It’s like, wow, someone needs to course-correct this ship before it’s too late. And, honestly, if books on economics can’t even help us figure this out, then I don’t know what will.

And, finally, let’s all take a moment to appreciate the irony of it all – I mean, who would have thought that a trade war would be the thing that finally brings us all together? (Just kidding, it’s not like that at all.) But, in all seriousness, it’s time for us to put our differences aside and figure out a way to diplomatically resolve this mess before it’s too late.

But, I guess what I’m trying to say is, can we please just get our act together and figure out a way to make free trade work for everyone? I mean, is that too much to ask? (Apparently, it is.) And, while we’re at it, can someone please explain to me why politics has to be so complicated? Can’t we all just, you know, get along?

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