I mean, seriously, who needs to sleep when you’re trying to make a point, right? Cory Booker’s 25-hour speech was basically the ultimate sleep deprivation experiment, and I’m not sure if he’s a superhero or just really, really passionate about gun control.
And don’t even get me started on the whole “stunt” thing – I mean, come on, who doesn’t love a good stunt? It’s like a filibuster, but without the boring parts. But, I guess, if you’re into that sorta thing, you can check out H.R.8, which is all about background checks for gun buyers.
But, let’s get real here, 25 hours is a long time – like, a really, really long time – I’ve seen marathons of The Shawshank Redemption that were shorter than that, and at least those had Morgan Freeman’s soothing voice to keep me company.
And, I’m not sure if Booker’s speech was more like a protest sign or a PowerPoint presentation, but hey, at least he’s consistent, right? I mean, who needs sleep when you can just mainline coffee and talk about gun violence for hours on end?
But, in all seriousness, Cory Booker’s website says he’s all about common sense gun laws, and I’m like, totally on board with that, because, you know, who doesn’t want to feel safe, right? And, hey, if a 24-hour coffee mug is what it takes to get the point across, then so be it.
And, can we talk about the whole “it worked” thing for a second? Like, what does that even mean? Did 89% of Americans suddenly wake up and say, “Oh, yeah, gun control is a thing now”? I mean, probably not, but hey, at least Booker tried, right?
But, you know what they say, “there’s no such thing as bad publicity,” and if that’s the case, then Booker’s 25-hour speech was basically the publicity stunt of the century – I mean, who needs actual policy changes when you can just talk for 25 hours straight, right? And, hey, if you’re feeling generous, you can even donate to his campaign, because, you know, free speech doesn’t come cheap.
And, I guess, the real question here is, what’s next? Is Booker going to try to break the record for longest marathon running backwards or something? Because, honestly, I’m a little scared to see what he’s going to come up with next – maybe a 48-hour coffee machine or a 50,000-word novel in 30 days, who knows? But, hey, at least it’ll be entertaining, right?
And, finally, let’s talk about the real heroes here – the C-SPAN crew who had to stay awake for 25 hours to broadcast Booker’s speech – I mean, those guys deserve a coffee machine for life or something, because, wow, that’s dedication. But, hey, at least they got to see Cory Booker’s 25-hour speech in all its glory – and, honestly, who wouldn’t want to see that?