I’m just going to dive right into this Donald Trump drama, because why not? It’s not like we have better things to talk about, like world peace or something. So, apparently, Anthony Scaramucci, the guy who lasted a whopping 10 days as White House director of communications, thinks JD Vance is on his way out. And I’m like, finally, someone who shares my opinions!
But seriously, Scaramucci said some pretty wild stuff on CNN the other day, like how Trump is going to make Vance “more irrelevant” and compromise his position. And I’m over here thinking, how is that even possible? I mean, Vance is already a master of mimicry, repeating Trump’s words verbatim and wearing the same outfits as him. It’s like he’s trying to be Trump’s Mike Pence 2.0 or something!
And then there’s the whole thing about Vance’s beard. Apparently, Scaramucci thinks that if Vance shaves it off, that’s when we’ll know he’s fully capitulated to Trump’s will. I mean, what’s next? Are we going to start analyzing the meaning behind politicians’ hairstyles? But in all seriousness, it’s pretty clear that Trump doesn’t take kindly to sycophants, and Vance is just asking to be axed.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: what about MAGA? Doesn’t that factor into all of this somehow? And to that, I say, of course it does. I mean, Trump has “the rizz” for his team, and Vance just doesn’t seem to be on the same level. It’s like he’s trying too hard to be part of the cool kids club, but really, he’s just coming off as obsequious. And let’s be real, who doesn’t love a good Mean Girl quote to drive the point home?
But I digress. The real question here is, what’s going to happen to Vance? Is he going to continue down the path of mimicry, or will he finally find his own voice? And more importantly, will he shave that beard? Only time will tell, folks. In the meantime, let’s just sit back and enjoy the politician drama that is the Trump administration. It’s like a never-ending soap opera, and I am here. for. it.