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Breaking News: GOP Finally Discovers Trump Has Too Much Power, Film at 11 (Spoiler Alert: It Only Took Them 4 Years) - Uncede | My Take on the News

Breaking News: GOP Finally Discovers Trump Has Too Much Power, Film at 11 (Spoiler Alert: It Only Took Them 4 Years)

5 Min Read

Let’s get this straight, the great and powerful Donald Trump has decided to impose tariffs on Canada and Mexico, because, you know, that’s exactly what the economy needed, right? I mean, who needs cheap goods when you can have expensive ones, am I right? (note to self: start buying things in bulk, just in case).

And, of course, the Republicans in Congress are freaking out, because, you know, they’re the ones who have to deal with the fallout, not Trump. I mean, it’s not like they’re the ones who enabled him or anything. But, in all seriousness, some of them are actually considering limiting Trump’s power to impose tariffs, which, let’s be real, is a huge deal. I mean, it’s not every day that you see Republicans going against their beloved leader.

But, let’s get back to the tariffs, shall we? So, these tariffs are going to affect not just Canada and Mexico, but also the good people of the United States, who will have to pay more for everyday goods. And, let’s not forget about the 25% tax on all foreign-made cars, which, I mean, is just insane. I guess that’s what happens when you have a tariff-loving president.

And, hey, if you’re in the market for a new car, you might want to check out this search results page on Amazon, just to see what you’ll be missing out on. But, I digress. The point is, these tariffs are bad news for everyone, except maybe Trump, who probably doesn’t care about the little people.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, what about the Republicans who are defending Trump’s tariff plan? Well, let me tell you, they’re out there, and they’re spinning this thing like it’s going out of style. Take Rep. Marlin Stutzman, for example, who thinks that the tariffs will somehow help American consumers in the long run. Yeah, sure, because that’s exactly what happened with the last set of tariffs, right? (heavy sarcasm alert).

But, in all seriousness, it’s amazing to see how some Republicans are defending Trump’s tariff plan, despite the fact that it’s clearly a disaster. I mean, it’s not like they’re afraid of him or anything (oh wait, they totally are). And, hey, who needs facts when you have alternative facts, right? (note to self: start selling alternative facts on the black market).

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the tariffs. So, these tariffs are going to hurt American consumers, and not just in the short term. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to magically make everything better, right? ( Spoiler alert: they won’t).

And, hey, if you want to learn more about the wonderful world of tariffs, you should totally check out this page on Salon, which has all sorts of fascinating articles about the subject. But, be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart, because, let’s face it, tariffs are complicated and boring.

But, in conclusion, the tariffs are a bad idea, and everyone knows it, except maybe Trump. And, hey, if you’re looking for a silver lining, you could try checking out this search results page on Amazon, which has all sorts of great books about tariffs. But, let’s be real, who needs books when you have Twitter, right? (kidding, please don’t tweet about tariffs, it’s too depressing).

And, finally, I just want to say that I love how some Republicans are trying to limit Trump’s power to impose tariffs. I mean, it’s not like they’re too little, too late, or anything. But, hey, at least they’re trying, right? (kids, don’t try this at home, it’s not a good idea).

But, what’s next? Will Trump back down on his tariff plan? Probably not, because, let’s face it, he’s too proud. But, hey, a girl can dream, right? (note to self: start a petition to make Trump back down).

And, that’s all for now, folks! Thanks for tuning in to this rant about tariffs. If you want to learn more about the subject, you should totally check out this article on CNN, which has all sorts of interesting information about the tariffs. But, be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart, because, let’s face it, tariffs are complicated and boring.

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