Usha Vance, the Second Lady, is apparently not the most popular person in Greenland, and I am just shocked (note the sarcasm). According to a report from Danish TV 2 (which I would have linked to, but it’s a twitter link, so you can just go look it up yourself), US officials have been traveling around Greenland trying to find someone, anyone, who wants to meet with her.
And, get this, the people of Greenland are all, “No thanks, we’re good.” But, I mean, who wouldn’t want to meet the Second Lady, right? I’m sure it’s not like they have better things to do, like, say, watching paint dry or waiting for the next iceberg to melt.
But, wait, it gets even better – Tupilak Travel, a company based in Nuuk, initially agreed to host Usha Vance, but then pulled out because they realized they didn’t want to be part of the “press show” (their words, not mine). And, honestly, can you blame them? I mean, who wants to deal with all the drama and fake smiles that come with hosting a high-ranking US official?
Now, I know what you’re thinking – what about JD Vance, the Vice President? Well, he’s decided to join his wife on the trip, because why not, right? I mean, it’s not like they have anything better to do, like, say, running the country or something. And, according to his video on X, he’s really excited about it, too (yawn).
But, let’s get to the real reason behind this trip – Donald Trump‘s obsession with buying Greenland. I mean, who wouldn’t want to buy a whole country, right? It’s not like it’s a sovereign nation with its own government and people or anything. And, according to his previous statements, he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get it, including potential military action. Because, you know, that’s exactly what the world needs – more military action.
And, let’s not forget about the Arctic Circle and its melting sea ice. Because, you know, climate change is just a myth, and we should totally be exploring new shipping routes and exploiting the Arctic’s natural resources. I mean, who needs polar bears and penguins when we can have more oil and gas, right? You can even buy books about the Arctic Circle on Amazon, or learn more about climate change and its effects on the environment.
But, I guess what I’m trying to say is, this whole trip is just a big mess, and I’m not sure what’s more embarrassing – the fact that the US is trying to buy Greenland, or the fact that Usha Vance can’t even get anyone to meet with her. Either way, it’s just another day in the world of US politics, where Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark, has to deal with unacceptable pressure from the US.
And, in conclusion, I just want to say that this whole situation is just absurd, and I’m not sure what the future holds for Greenland, but I hope it doesn’t involve being bought by the US. But, hey, at least we can all look forward to more travel guides and documentaries about the Arctic Circle, right?