I mean, can we just take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of it all? The response to Donald Trump’s two-hour carnival of lies and stunts was given by Senator Elissa Slotkin of Michigan, and let me tell you, it was a real thrill-ride – said no one ever. I’m not saying she didn’t try, but come on, who thought it was a good idea to follow up a golden dome defense system with a speech that was, well, normal?
And don’t even get me started on the fact that Slotkin’s speech was so, well, normal, that it was basically the equivalent of a warm glass of milk – it might put you to sleep, but it’s not going to inspire anyone to take action. I mean, where was the passion? The fire? The revolutionary spirit? Nowhere to be found, that’s where. Instead, we got a nice, calm, collected speech that was about as exciting as a CPAC conference – and that’s saying something.
But, in all fairness, Slotkin did try to hold Trump’s feet to the fire a little bit, reminding people that Elon Musk is basically a bureaucratic Godzilla, rampaging through our personal data and leaving destruction in his wake. And, you know, that’s a start, I guess. But it’s not like it’s going to make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things – I mean, Trump’s still out there, spewing lies and nonsense like it’s going out of style.
And then, of course, there was the part where Slotkin talked about the importance of political engagement, and how we can’t just sit around doomscrolling on our phones all day – which, let’s be real, is basically the entire internet’s business model at this point. But, you know, it’s easy for me to sit here and criticize – I’m not the one who has to go out there and try to rally the troops against the forces of darkness and despair. That’s a tough job, and I’m not sure I’d be up for it – but someone’s gotta do it, right?
But, I mean, seriously, what’s the plan here? Are we just going to sit around and wait for Trump to destroy the country, or are we actually going to do something about it? And, by “we”, I mean the Democrats – because, let’s face it, they’re the only ones who seem to be even remotely interested in stopping Trump at this point. And, even then, it’s not like they’re doing a great job – I mean, have you seen their protest signs? More like “We’re not really sure what we’re doing, but we’re going to hold up this sign and hope for the best” signs.
And, can we talk about the fact that Slotkin’s response was just, well, so…-democratic? I mean, where’s the revolutionary spirit? The passion? The fire in the belly? It’s just not there, folks – and that’s a problem. Because, let’s face it, Trump is not going to be defeated by a bunch of normal politicians giving normal speeches. We need someone who’s going to shake things up, who’s going to challenge the status quo and take a stand against the forces of darkness and despair. And, sadly, that someone is not Senator Elissa Slotkin – at least, not based on this speech.
But, hey, what do I know? Maybe I’m just a crazy person who’s just ranting on the internet. Maybe Slotkin’s speech was actually genius, and I’m just too blind to see it. But, if that’s the case, then I’d love to hear the explanation – because, from where I’m sitting, it just looks like more of the same old, same old. And, honestly, that’s just not going to cut it – not when we’re facing a threat like Trump, who’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, no matter who he has to hurt or what rules he has to break.
And, finally, can we talk about the fact that the Democrats are just, well, so…afraid to take a stand? I mean, they’re always talking about how they need to be centrist, how they need to appeal to moderate Republicans and independent voters. But, let’s be real, folks – that’s just not going to work. Because, at the end of the day, Trump is not a normal politician – he’s a fascist, plain and simple. And, if the Democrats can’t even be bothered to call him out on it, then what’s the point of even having a Democratic party? I mean, seriously – what’s the point of having a party that’s just going to roll over and let Trump do whatever he wants? It’s just not worth it, folks – we need a party that’s going to stand up for what’s right, even if it’s hard. Even if it’s unpopular. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what it means to be a Democrat – or, at least, that’s what it’s supposed to mean.
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that Slotkin’s speech was, well, not great. And, honestly, it’s not like it’s the end of the world – but it’s just so…typical. So…expected. I mean, can’t we just, for once, have a politician who’s willing to shake things up? Who’s willing to take a stand, even if it’s unpopular? Because, at the end of the day, that’s what we need – not more of the same old, same old. Not more politics as usual. But, I guess that’s just a pipe dream – at least, for now.