I am just so excited to be talking about this, Bernie Sanders is back at it again, because apparently, someone has to save us from the evil clutches of the wealthy elite (yawn). And let’s be real, who better to do it than a 79-year-old man who’s been screaming about the same issues for decades? I mean, it’s not like he’s just a one-trick pony or anything (ahem, one-trick pony).
But seriously, Sanders is calling out the ultra-rich, because apparently, they’re not paying their fair share of taxes (shocker). And I’m over here thinking, didn’t we already know this? Like, isn’t this just basic math? I mean, come on, if you’ve got billions of dollars, you can probably afford to hire a team of accountants to find every loophole under the sun. It’s not exactly rocket science, folks. Anyway, Sanders is all fired up about it, and I’m just sitting here wondering, what’s the plan, man?
And don’t even get me started on the whole “anti-oligarch crusader” thing. I mean, isn’t that just a fancy way of saying “guy who yells a lot about rich people”? But hey, I guess it sounds better than “guy who’s been doing the same thing for 40 years and hasn’t achieved much”. I’m not saying Sanders doesn’t have a point, but can we please just get some new material? It’s like he’s stuck in some kind of Groundhog Day time loop, reliving the same arguments over and over again.
But I guess what’s really important here is that Sanders is stirring up the crowd, getting people all riled up about income inequality and whatnot. And hey, I’m not saying that’s not important, because it totally is. I mean, who doesn’t love a good class war? But can we please just focus on something else for once? Like, I don’t know, maybe the fact that our planet is literally on fire?
And while we’re on the topic of inequality, can someone please explain to me why billionaires are still a thing? Like, shouldn’t we be past that by now? I mean, it’s not like they’re actually doing anything productive with their money, aside from maybe funding private space travel or something equally ridiculous.
But hey, at least Sanders is trying, right? I mean, someone’s got to keep the revolution alive, even if it’s just a bunch of empty rhetoric. And who knows, maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time, we’ll actually see some real change (haha, yeah right). But until then, I’ll just be over here, waiting for the revolution to come, with my popcorn in hand.