Luigi Mangione, the infamous accused killer of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, has a legal defense fund that’s making waves – and I am so here for the drama!
But, and this is a big but, one of the top donors to this fund is citing President Donald Trump‘s executive order on the death penalty as their reason for giving – because, you know, death penalty isn’t already a super contentious issue.
And let’s get real, this whole situation is just a big mess – Joe Biden‘s administration had a moratorium on federal executions, but then Trump comes along and is all “hey, let’s bring back the death penalty” – because that’s exactly what we need, more politics in our courts.
Now, I know what you’re thinking – what’s the big deal about this donation? Well, let me tell you, it’s not just about the money – it’s about the fact that this donor is publicly stating that they’re concerned about the death penalty being “politicized” (read: they’re totally for it, but don’t want to admit it).
And, of course, Luigi Mangione‘s attorney, Karen Friedman Agnifilo, is all like “oh, we’re going to use this money to fight all these cases in multiple jurisdictions” – yawn, because that’s not a recipe for disaster at all.
But, let’s get back to the donation – $11,000 is a lot of money, especially when you consider that the fund has already raised over $485,000 (because, you know, murder is so trendy these days).
And, I have to ask – what’s next for Luigi Mangione? Will he be found guilty? Will he get the death penalty? Will this whole thing just be a big circus?
The answer, much like the meaning of life, remains a mystery – but one thing’s for sure, this case is going to be a long and wild ride. And, of course, I’ll be here for every step of it, popcorn in hand, ready to watch the drama unfold.
In the meantime, if you’re interested in learning more about this case, I recommend checking out some true crime books (just don’t say I didn’t warn you…).
Or, if you’re feeling generous, you could always donate to Luigi Mangione‘s defense fund – just don’t expect me to join you, because, you know, morality and all that jazz.
And, on a completely unrelated note, has anyone seen my cat? I swear, she’s been missing for hours…
Anyway, back to the matter at hand – Luigi Mangione‘s next court appearance is scheduled for Friday (because, you know, court drama is the best kind of drama).
So, will you be tuning in? probably not, but I will – and I’ll be sure to bring my snacks, because this is going to be a long night.
And, finally, if you have any questions about this story (or just want to talk about the weather), feel free to contact LiveNews@newsweek.com – just don’t expect a response, because, you know, journalism is hard.
But, in all seriousness, this case is a big deal – and I’m not just saying that because I love a good true crime podcast.
It’s because, at the end of the day, this case is about real people – and real lives are at stake. So, let’s all just take a deep breath, and try to stay calm, shall we?
And, on that note, I’m going to go meditate – or, you know, just take a nice long nap.
Either way, it’s been real, folks – and I’ll catch you all on the flip side.